What's your imperfection?, Let it all out here and give tips of how you're dealing it Rating Options

[Zhanneel]

*nod* Very insightful, and it helps to have a guy (or Fortress Guy)--bad joke, sorries--alleviate some female fears.

I tend to think we all put too much emphasis on looks anyway. I've met so many people, not stellar-looking by far, just normal-looking (nothing wrong with that at all). It's when I get to know them and their personalities that I find they are much more attractive to me than I might have thought from just looking at them from a distance. I hate first impressions based on looks alone. I never thought that was fair. People can get more beautiful, physically and mentally, the more I know them. Also, smiles are intriguing little devices. One well aimed smile and you got me hook, line, and sinker, lol. [/corny rant]

[winxclub-joy]

lol, like I have a very innocence look but the inner me was fierce and spoiled. xD

[Tom273]

Yep! It's like they say, don't judge a book by its cover

hehe that's all true

[Zhanneel]

Hahaha, you cannot fool me. Under that spoiled layer there is yet a third layer of good again. Everyone will have selfish moments, but we also know that others are important as well.

[Boo]

That was a very nicely stated post, Fortress Guy. ^_^

But, unfortunately, feeling better about yourself, for some people, is easier said than done. Even if one tries to feel better about the way they look or act, if there is any slight bit of insecurity, the media will send that newly gained pride right back to level 1. After being gradually exposed to the image the media portrays to be perfect, and seeing it day to day, it becomes hard to think that beauty can be anything but what they think it is (and that is definitely a skewed opinion of beauty: it's all Photoshop and unhealthy habits), and yet, breaking free of that mentality, breaking free of what they think is "beauty" and what you have grown to accept as "beauty", is hard to do.

I hate this vicious cycle, and the sooner the media slows the constant display of this skewed image, the sooner some can begin to mentally heal.

(And I think this way, yet, I've come to watch this image in action, just as many people do... I can't believe I have a weak spot for America's Next Top Model... goodness gracious... it's just awful.)


Chalk this one up for another imperfections:
I have a habit of writing random babbles and rants...
I write waaayy too much on the web (such as on this forum).
Problem is: No one wants to read my 3 paragraphs of whatever my opinion may be, so why do I even type it out? (Good question; one that I ask myself a lot).
You can see a perfectly good example of this above... o_O

[Tom273]

But, unfortunately, feeling better about yourself, for some people, is easier said than done. Even if one tries to feel better about the way they look or act

that is all true... im never happy with myself or what i do, but i hope someday i can be happy.

[Boo]

that is all true... im never happy with myself or what i do, but i hope someday i can be happy.

If it's any consolation, I feel the same way. I feel that I can never reach the standards I set for myself: in my appearance, my work, my creative "ability" (that I lack anyway), my schoolwork... just everything. What's even worse is sometimes I even feel as if these standards I place upon myself are also ones that others adopt, thus making this burden feel overwhelming.
But that's just me and my nature. :/

I hope you can learn to become happy with yourself in everything you do; for that is being truly content, and everyone deserves that. No one deserves to be unhappy with themselves, it's an awful feeling. I also hope that, one day, you will look at yourself and view all the good you've done instead of the bad, and from there, you will feel that burden of unhappiness disappear. :)

[Zhanneel]

I like what you had to say there Boo. The more qualities you admire about yourself, the more confident and happy you will become. If you know you are good, kind, generous, helpful, hard-working, creative, etc, you stand a pretty good chance at overcoming self-confidence issues.

@Tom: I bet you don't give yourself enough credit. It's okay to pat yourself on the back from time to time. You've got good qualities, even if you don't think about it much. And it's never too late to gain more qualities either. There is no limit. ; )

My example: I admire my will power to eat healthy (most of the time, heh). Something simple like that. =)

[Fortress Guy]

That was a very nicely stated post, Fortress Guy. ^_^

But, unfortunately, feeling better about yourself, for some people, is easier said than done.

Chalk this one up for another imperfections:
Problem is: No one wants to read my 3 paragraphs of whatever my opinion may be, so why do I even type it out? (Good question; one that I ask myself a lot).
You can see a perfectly good example of this above... o_O

Thank you Boo, and let us start with pointing out that I and others read this particular rant. Unless your others are on mitochondria and other micro-cellular structures in fruit flies, I cannot see why they are not read.

There is no argument that the media skews beauty in certain ways. However they are unlikely to stop. So it is up to us as individuals to ground ourselves and be the best "us" we can be. In martial arts, in art, in everything there is always someone better. Sometimes we just have to stop comparing.

Look at Winxtecna. She displayed her personal art knowing that others out there are very, very talented like Jess. Still her Shine piece spoke to me and hopefully gave Winxtecna great satisfaction.

I would say do not build up your pride as you mentioned on unimportant stuff or in comparison to some photoshopped model. Build true feelings of worth on what is really praiseworthy about you. I could start a list of good things right here about you.

I know this is an uphill battle. I know! Pretty is pretty, and we all know how to see it on the surface. Fortunately we are built to also look past the surface if we want. That can take work.

You also said this: "I feel that I can never reach the standards I set for myself: in my appearance, my work, my creative "ability" (that I lack anyway), my schoolwork... just everything."

I have wrestled with that. I think many of us do. Try taking some solace in the smaller steps. If you want to lose 20 pounds celebrate each day you do well. If your art is not what it could be rejoice in each little lesson learned. If your schoolwork is not up to par take the extra time (no fun I know) and then smile at the results, even the little ones. At least do your best and have no regrets. I need to keep learning and relearning these lessons all the time.

Keep sharing and helping. Now you drew me into a rant! Nice job.

[jsispitz]

My imperfection...it...it's morton's toe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton's_toe

Soooo many broken toes Dx

Apparently it means dominance over men in some cultures though?

*ha...sorry I had to post a silly one, I'm in a bit of a goofy mood at the moment.*

[mightymarty2]

i have the same problem tom

[Boo]

I would say do not build up your pride as you mentioned on unimportant stuff or in comparison to some photoshopped model. Build true feelings of worth on what is really praiseworthy about you. I could start a list of good things right here about you.

I know this is an uphill battle. I know! Pretty is pretty, and we all know how to see it on the surface. Fortunately we are built to also look past the surface if we want. That can take work.

I agree.
An addition: they always say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so one may look at themselves and think one way while another person may look at them and think they're simply gorgeous. Of course, this isn't really portrayed much in the media, where the definition of a beautiful person all leans towards sameness and all include factors such as being tall, skinny, etc. Of course, like you mentioned, people, though it may be quite difficult, need to look beyond this unhealthy image to be satisfied with themselves. If an abnormal, unhealthy supermodel is the basis for comparison to them, then they'll never be able to look at themselves and actually think that they look nice.

If one just keeps in mind that they are beautiful, and despite what others may think, they are still beautiful, then they might feel a bit better about everything they do (a boost for self-confidence, which is always needed once in awhile. It makes you feel better about yourself in one aspect, and that good feeling usually carries over to other aspects... well, at least for some).

You also said this: "I feel that I can never reach the standards I set for myself: in my appearance, my work, my creative "ability" (that I lack anyway), my schoolwork... just everything."

I have wrestled with that. I think many of us do. Try taking some solace in the smaller steps. If you want to lose 20 pounds celebrate each day you do well. If your art is not what it could be rejoice in each little lesson learned. If your schoolwork is not up to par take the extra time (no fun I know) and then smile at the results, even the little ones. At least do your best and have no regrets. I need to keep learning and relearning these lessons all the time.

Keep sharing and helping. Now you drew me into a rant! Nice job.

I think my problem lies with my self confidence; these standards I set for myself tend to be outrageous. Like, for weight, I think I'm fat when I look at myself in the mirror, but I weigh under 100 pounds. I get straight A's, yet, I think I can, and must, do better somehow. I write articles for work weekly, and yet, I always feel as if they are not good enough or they are incomplete and I never gain a sense of satisfaction after I finally publish them online. I know I probably sound incredibly odd (or crazy) here, but for some reason, I just never feel as if I'm reaching what I want to be in any of these aspects.

Thanks for the advice. :) Maybe taking things in smaller amounts might work; I tend to overwhelm myself, thus, always throwing my current situation in constant turmoil which really tends to break down any shreds of confidence I may have had before.

Bleh, I'll stop talking about myself. I don't want to sound self-consumed.


Ha ha; yay ranting! I read it all; very well written.
(And now look what I've done again... I can never just write a couple sentences. )

[Fortress Guy]

Ha ha; yay ranting! I read it all; very well written.

Thanks Boo. I am glad we exchanged rants.

Do not focus on the whole, it can be too overwhelming. Just do the "next thing".

[Meru]

But girls can also sometimes carry a curse. They can have a hard time overcoming their own unique features which may not be out of the pages of Vogue.

The sad part is that many of these girls who want to look like the models in Vogue do not realize that what they see in magazines is fake the girl on the cover probably had a big huge red pimple right on the tip of her nose during that shoot- the wonders of photoshop
Editors also take out most/if not all freckles or moles if they have them, make their eyes bigger, lengthen the neck and make is thinner, raise cheekbones etc.

I LOVE this commercial!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

I did three years of photography in college; we were shown how to do all of that in photoshop; but I never wanted to do it and have forgotten how over the years, but we do take out blemishes, soften the skin sometimes, adjust the tones and even add a rosy tint to cheeks (ive never done it but seen it been done)

I knew that what we are shown in magazines and such were fake, but once you yourself learn the process, and use parts of it, i dunno @_@

I have 'imperfections' but I wouldnt want to look like a fake person.

Stop biting your nails.

It cannot be done DX< mother tried everything when I was young, the only time I don't chew is when I have professionally done acryllic nails on because they are like STEEL D< I can play with them in my teeth but they wont break >3



so; I'm a nail-biter, but I have accepted that part of myself and nobody really cares what my fingernails look like anyways.
I don't really like the way my face scrunches up when I smile <___< (one factor in why I don't like my picture taken)
'friends' in Junior High used to make fun of my two front teeth, saying that I had Chicklit teeth (chicklit being those little square pieces of chewing gum) So at the time I was self conscious of my teeth; but after I lost touch with those girls I got over it...

My hair <____<. I like it; but sometimes I don't. And all the time people say how lucky I am, but they themselves have hair that feels so thin to me its sickening, thus they do not understand the burden of thick hair.
To my knowledge all of the hairdressers I have been to have never encountered hair as thick as my own. Even when I was down in Cuba! DX Getting my hair done for my sister's wedding. I watched the lady's eyes bulge in the mirror when she put her hands in my hair.
If I want to dye my hair ( I used to do it at home all the time) doing it at home consisted of buying two boxes of dye (and if i was beaching before dying I needed 2 bleach 2 dye) and those two boxes JUST barely got all (i think all there might have been some missed spots underneath in teh back) my hair done with a LOT of lathering.
Now whenever I get my hair done I go to the same hair dresser because she is used to my hair; and she knows how much dye she'd need (enough for 3 "normal" people @_@)

It doesn't help that I can't style hair for the life of me cause apparently thick hair=endless possibilities <__<;;
I cant even braid it because it wont all hold at the length its at (3 inches above my elbows)

<< blah..


I'm not too worried in chest size. I'm not flat, but im not huge @_@ (thank god)

My biggest issues are my belly/weight and my legs.

I'm not overweight, and although I have gained about 10lbs since my last check up a couple years ago, for someone my size I had(might be a bit off now XD) the perfect weight and body mass .___. my doctor told me it was the first time she told someone that they had a 'perfect' body (my ego rose a couple notches that day XD)
I used to train really hardcore when I could paddle. Running(walking xD) weight lifting etc and actually paddling was probably one of the most intense workouts I've ever done. Most Canadians don't even know what warcanoe is and its a sport that is only done in canada @_@ so here is a video of a bunch of people i don't know racing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LUVPCLkCCY
its harder than it looks << you have to train for weeks to simply be able to kneel in the boat without falling.

anyways off my tangent and my shameless spreading of warcanoe knowledge~~~~
I paddled on the right side of the boat; meaning i knelt on my right knee with my left knee stuck out in front of me (much like i was proposing to someone) I can no longer do this (at least for another year or... 3*hopefully just one year or 2 tops ;_;*) because back in September my messed up knees finally decided to fight back, and my kneeling knee dislocated itself, putting it on the outside-side of my leg, effectively ripping itself off of the quad muscles that held it in place. I was on the floor, my leg was bent, where my knee should have been was flat and there was a buldge on the side of it. Lets all just say I sometimes think about it and shudder, I remember it before I go to sleep and shudder @_@. I realize that theres a HUGE chance that it will happen at least once more (and they will only fix it with surgery if i pop it out either a 2nd or 3rd time <__<)
I was on crutches until the end of October (first time i walked without crutches I cried XD) and I had a HUGE limp on until maybe the start of January. It took about 6 months to be able to bend my right leg as much as I can bend my left, and even then it hurt to do so.
During that time I was irritable because I couldn't get around on my own (people had to drive me places) and I couldn't do certain things.
I gained a bit of muscle in my arms from crutching around so much, and I lost weight but it wasnt the place i wanted to loose weight.

my right calve muscle is still smaller than the other though you cant tell by just looking at it unless you actually look for it being smaller... and I still have a hard time crouching.

the whole messed up knee escapade helped me add to the tummy i had, because I wasn't getting a lot of exercise. If i was in school all day I'd get home and pass out from exhaustion because i had to crutch my body around witht he addition of a 20lbs(i kid you not i weighed it) bag.

.... another tangent << sorry dont read my crap xD

once i can jog safely I plan on getting out there and doing so; I also need to work on my abs so that I can tone down the belly I've aquired.

my LAST(yes i promise) 'imperfection' is my thighs.
because I paddled and did the intense work outs that came with paddling; My legs got really muscly (you use your leg and lower back muscles not your arms to paddle) my thighs in particular, I always found to be chunky, I knew that it was all muscles and stuff, but i just didnt like seeing them accompanied with a bathing suit or short shorts << so I wore (and still prefer to wear) board shorts that go to my knees so people dont see my thighs. I swam in them and everything. I'm trying to get out of it slowly... though the stretch marks from these muscles still make me feel not so good.

When I was high on morphine (yes, yes I was they gave me lots and I don't drink pop/soda or even alcohol so it had a huge effect on me XD) I named my thighs 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' and told the paramedics to refer to them as such. XD it was a good night minus the obvious <<


okay... im done my rant full of off topic things XD I appologise XD

[Boo]

Awww, Meru, I really hope that you can come to love every "imperfection" you listed...

Actually, if it's any consolation, I hate my thick hair too. I want it to be thin and straight; not thick and naturally curly. But if you think about it, some of those people with straight, thin hair might absolutely love to have thick hair... As the saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side".

And ranting is alright (I do it all too often, lol). We're always here to listen.

Thanks for sharing that commercial! It pretty much sums up everything that was said about "fake models" and the false impression the media is sending. ^_^

[Fortress Guy]

That was quite the debrief Meru. I am glad some of the things I said served as launching platforms for you -- not that you really needed them! You had a lot to say and I trust it felt good to say it.

You sound like you are in tune with yourself; your strengths and weaknesses. I like that you seem to have a plan to improve what you can improve and make the most of the rest. None of us are close to perfect outside of photoshop. The real battle for satisfaction and sanity starts in our own thinking.

[Abdu 6b]

Other than being as skinny as Bloom and having black, curly hair that grows upwards and uneven skin tone I have nothing else

[sweetmusa]

People don't usually think that I'm thirteen. They think I'm fourteen or fifteen.

i have a girl in my sunday school class like that

[Music123]

Hmmm my imperfections....

Well, although my BMI is 23.5 (that's average) I still feel as though I am overweight Mainly because of my hips. I have a 'pear' shaped body you see (that's the most common body shape for people). It's just my waist is slim while my hips quite big. I walk and run everyday but that weight on my hips just simply stays on...

Also on my face I have freckles at just random places, you can't see them when I am just standing in front of you but when I look very closely in the mirror there are HEAPS of them.

This post has been edited by Music123: Jul 21 2009, 12:33 PM

[Jahnavi]

Well, although my BMI is 23.5 (that's average)

...My BMI is around 14.8; my parents and even my doctor think that's okay, but my friends keep insisting that I'm sick. =P

This post has been edited by Jahnavi: Jul 21 2009, 4:04 PM