Seriously Need Help Here, For girls/ladies here T.T (ONLY GIRLS) Options

[Zhanneel]

Unica-Musa's right again . You're under way too much pressure and stress and you've come down on yourself just like your family has done. Whether they intentionally do or not, parents have a way of pressuring their children, trying to get them to find the perfect job and I don't know, become successful? I sorta have a similar situation, but my mom no longer makes me worry about my future and I'm not allowing myself to look ahead in the future to forecast possible failure. I now have a biology degree but I'm not going to go into the medical field--my mother thinks I will be ruined if I don't. I instead want to use my degree for other means, like environmental jobs or possibly lab work. I know there may be no success in that, but I don't care anymore. It's not about the money or successfulness to me. I just want to find a job that makes me happy, and if I never makes tons of money that's okay. I can live as frugally as I need to. And now back to you. Is this also what you fear? That your family says you won't be successful? Well, if they worry about "success" but you're just happy to make graphics, animate, draw, and take other classes that get you to a job you're happy with then I say don't listen to their criticisms. Your definition of "success" might be totally different from what they assume it to mean. So, if you can, you should just focus on yourself and redefine what you are good at, what you like, what your hopes are, and ignore what your family expects of you. Or, if you feel really strong, you could tell one of your family members why you feel so pressured and why you want them to back off, because it's hurting your self-esteem. Maybe one day soon you can move into your own apartment or find a room mate at college and focus on your work and classes and just concentrate on yourself.

This post has been edited by Zhanneel: May 9 2008, 3:51 PM

[winxclub-joy]

thanks

[Unica-Musa]

no problem
we're always here to help you

[Princess Rissa]

I have to agree

[winxclub-joy]

I think it's great to have best friends like you all here, better than my reality one

[Abby]

I feel the same way Joy, right now I have no friends I can talk to about anything I'm feeling in my life except people online.

[Zhanneel]

I think the same way =). I think of everyone on this website as the friends I never had in high school =P. I had crummy friends to say the least.

This post has been edited by Zhanneel: May 18 2008, 2:22 AM

[winxclub-joy]

true

=D
Love ya guys always *hugs*

[Jahnavi]

Totally agree with you guys... If anything ever went wrong in my life, I'm pretty sure I would talk about it here, before telling my real-life friends... They're not very understanding...

[winxclub-joy]

They won't understand what we want, because they are trying to fake out in front of us. If not me and my friend won't get into a fight because of a small matter

[Abby]

I just can't trust anyone. My one "friend" talked about me behind my back and the other girl I could tell anything to got a boyfriend who is all she thinks about now basically. I do talk to these other girls but they are always busy with sports (they are really good at it too) so I don't hang out with them out of school.

[Zhanneel]

I don't even really talk to my high school friends anymore. One friend is still dragging me along, trying to maintain a friendship. But we've grown apart. Basically it all changed when I went to college. High school...well, it was just a big facade really. No one knew who they were and the friendships I made just didn't turn out well. But there is still hope later for real friendships if you haven't found one in your high school.

And not to go on and on about the weight issue again, but my mom and I went in together to get an elliptical machine for the house. Something like this would be perfect for you Joy, but you'd have to save up for it. I love it, it gives me a great workout =).

Elliptical machine that took a lot of energy to put together =P

(hehe, ignore the super messy room)

This post has been edited by Zhanneel: May 19 2008, 10:05 PM

[W.I.N.X]

Yeah it's a lot easier to talk to people online. I guess because you're nor as worried as to what they might say to you. I feel that way about my friends sometimes.

[Abby]

Cool! My big problem is honestly self esteem. Some days I feel great other are just blah. What I really need to do is actually get in shape, I know that would make me feel so much better about wearing more stuff I want to wear to school and that kind of stuff, my problem is I have trouble sticking with something once I start it (most of the time) and it just seems hard for me to stick with a work out plan. I have probably tried like 4 over the past year.

[Zhanneel]

I know that feeling Abby. I tried all four years of high school to just get into a routine. Of course, I thought I'd see instant results (which of course doesn't happen) and I got seriously dejected. Finally, at the start of college I forced myself into doing some kind of routine: not eating sugar/fatty sweets and any type of sugary drinks, making sure I did not fill myself up during any meal, and finding some kind of exercise (at the time it was DDR =P). It took a few months, but with the drastic change in my eating and exercise routine I finally started to drop a few pounds. And as soon as I saw that I lost a few pounds it was much easier from there to continue. I knew if I could drop a few pounds than I'd be able to continue to get the weight I wanted. Overall I lost about 40 pounds. I'm only 5 feet tall, originally about 150ish pounds, and now I weight somewhere about 110, right in the range of my height group. So, I guess the biggest thing to get over is that it won't be instant weight loss (at least, not typically). You may be doing the right routine but it might just take a little while longer to see results. That and the stress of high school didn't help =(.

This post has been edited by Zhanneel: May 21 2008, 3:10 AM

[winxclub-joy]

hey, i got another problem here. hope ya can help me if you guys can, because now I'm kind of confused and scared.

I got a crush with a guy, whom I just met him once. And we do not know each other, but it's like very sudden, I do not know how to explain. But then in school, I just get to know that one of my friend (Whom is a nerd likes me, i hate nerds) likes me, but I don't like him. I just treat him as my brother, playing with him. When I get to know that he likes me, I avoid him immediately. Because I'm very scared, I don't feel like being in another relationships anymore. I'm tired, but I just dunno why god like to make these things out. All I prayed is to being an animator, pursue my dreams. But I just don't know why, bad things always comes first. I wanted to be straight, but I scared that i will hurt his feelings.

Save me from nerds, please.

[Zhanneel]

Awww, I love nerds myself, probably because I am partially one myself ^^. However, and maybe it's just my opinion, but your situation doesn't sound so scary. Guys and girls have crushes on each other even when we are out of high school, and even if the feeling isn't mutual you can still be friends. It happens all the time. I had...let's see, about 4 incidents like this in college and 2 separate ones at work. Every semester or so there would be a guy who would befriend me and I came to find out that he liked me. I didn't want to hurt his feelings either, but I wasn't interested. So we remained friends and even though he continued to like me it didn't seem awkward to be his friend. Eventually I think he understood that I wasn't interested and it was okay from then on. Same with your situation. The "nerd" who likes you probably doesn't want to make you feel awkward but if he has a crush on you just don't mention it and continue being his friend if you can. If for some reason in the future he asks if you want to go on a date just explain you aren't interested in him like that but that you still think being friends is okay. I know it seems stressful now, but you'll see it's nothing really to worry about. It might even happen to you throughout your life, but that's okay. Just take it as a compliment .

[Abby]

Sorry but I can't help, I have never had a guy even admit to liking me before or ask me out ever so I wouldn't know the feeling. I hate liking people because I always know it will never happen so there is no point in it at all. I need to get into a routine but my schedule changes so much with Marching Band in the Summer/Fall, and maybe the plays at school. I did loose 5 pounds from soccer last summer, but I didn't loose any more after that and I was mad because we ran so much. I also did track in middle school and ran a lot and it still didn't get me in shape at all and I dieted and everything. I just think I will probably be "big" for the rest of my life. Like Im not huge its just I don't have a flat stomach like most other girls in my grade so I wear hoodies all the time.

[Zhanneel]

Whoa, that sounds almost exactly like me in high school. I don't want to dampen your spirits at all Abby, but when I was in high school it was just impossible for me to lose weight. I couldn't do it, and I was in marching band too. Still didn't help even though that was crazy hard work. I also thought I'd just be big the rest of my life (since my dad is, and his entire side of the family as well). I got totally dejected, like I always did. I wasn't huge either, just too heavy for my height and age, and it showed. I kind of gave up through my senior year. Then, I got out of high school, lost the huge amounts of social stress that went with it and managed to put myself into a routine that finally worked. It may be the same for you. You may be one of those people who really changes after high school. I know you probably worry about it now, but I think by the time you've graduated things will get a lot easier. I felt more in control of myself after I got out of the high school scene.

Wow, I just can't stop blathering, sorry =P. I just really don't want you guys to get too depressed. Success stories do happen (I guess I count myself as one) so I wanted to make sure you guys have something to strive for too.

This post has been edited by Zhanneel: May 22 2008, 3:05 AM

[Abby]

The thing is I can't wait that long, I really want to change now, all my friends are way skinner than I am and I feel worse not having a boyfriend when all of them do too (I'm pretty sure I never have since of my image) I was really fine until this year and everything got really bad.