Nightworld, My very first original story. Horror-based, so be warned. 16+ Options

[P-girl]

Prologue

There ya go, the prologue my first non-fanfiction work. It basically follows the adventures of Private Detective Ian Cole as he's introduced to 'Nightworld', a world filled with vampires, werewolves, demons, you name it. I'm really, really sorry for the name of the city. I wanted something with 'Hell', but most American towns I know don't have that in their name. Holland, on the other hand.... my school's located in a large city, basically called 'Hell's mouth' if you translate it. (BTW; Hellepoort basically means 'Hell's gate'). This doesn't mean the place is Dutch. I try my best to place it in the U.S..... but considering I'll probably make some screwups at some point considering law, geography, culture and whatnot and use Dutch mannerisms, I'll keep it ambiguous.

Anyway, enough ranting about something so minimal. I hope this prologue is enjoyable.....

This post has been edited by P-girl: Apr 26 2010, 4:14 PM

[MorriganAensland]

Read it and I liked it. Left a review for you too!

[P-girl]

Thank you!

I'll see if I can keep this up.

[MorriganAensland]

No problem.

But if you feel burned out or want to take a break from writing, by all means go for it. Nothing kills someone's interest in, or the quality of, writing like forcing yourself to do chapters on a regular basis. It helps, yes, but it's not something to govern you.

[P-girl]

Nah, I already decided to go for my own tempo on this. If there's something I dislike, it's, indeed, people pressuring me into getting things like this done in a certain time. I already do that in school, I don't want to submit my hobby to it.

[P-girl]

Sorry for the double post, but... New chapter!

Chapter 1: Exposition, do your duty!

Yeah, not the actual title (I prefer not to use chapter titles) but it felt appropriate. While satisfied, this chapter felt a bit clunky and is largely expositional.... still, it's kinda bad when you keep relating something to a catch-phrase of an internet show called 'Bad Movie Beatdown'.
But then again, it's a bit of a gateway chapter to the story. And it's one of those chapters every 'Person discovers Underworld type of thing is actually real' kinda has. Oh well, it's not
'I know what you are....
Say it....
*Dramatic zoom*
Vampire'

At least I hope it's not.

/Senseless babbling.

Hope it's enjoyable.

This post has been edited by P-girl: May 8 2010, 5:23 PM

[P-girl]

Chapter 2

And once again, a pretty slow chapter that's more world-building (Read: Info-dumping) then anything else. I also hope the ending was alright.... I'm not good at ending a story/chapter.... also, I have to admit that during the writing of this chapter, I made a mayor story overhaul, because;
a) It would be a huge cliché. This in itself isn't bad but....
b) It would made several character look like giant, genre-blind idiots. And THAT'S something I wanted to prevent.

This post has been edited by P-girl: May 26 2010, 4:23 PM

[P-girl]

Chapter 3

Finally got this rolling.

[P-girl]

Chapter 4

[P-girl]

Chapter 5

It's a very short chapter, I know. But if I added anything more, it just wouldn't feel right.... oh well, it's not as if I'm trying to 'Sell' you blank pages as chapters like some other novellist.... heh. Sorry, couldn't resist. (No, such tricks aren't 'Clever'. They're cheap copouts.)

[P-girl]

No feedback? My first original work, something I spent years on preparing...... yeah, talk about a way to get your spirits down.

[P-girl]

Chapter 6


Finally, a chapter I'm satisfied with! Even tough the ending kinda sucked..... but that's kind of a common thing with my stories..... Feedback would be nice.

[P-girl]

Chapter 7

Sorry this one took so long. Three reasons;
1. I tried to get rid of my 'Ellipses-tic'. Quite a hard habit to quit.
2. The logic..... it makes sense to me, but for others, I don't know.
3. This was the only end that didn't feel Deus Ex Machina-y. But in turn, reminds me of another certain vampire tale I absolutely hate. In the end, I feel it works, but it took a lot of personal convincing.

[MorriganAensland]

Alright. I'm kinda burned out from marathoning the last eight episodes of Kamen Rider Kuuga (*fantastic show* by the way, and you might like it too) but I'm finally in the mood for some serious reading so I'll get on your fic right away. Expect some reviews shortly.

[P-girl]

And.... it is complete!

Epilogue

Well..... sorta. Obvious first part right there. But as an origin story, I'm satisfied. I managed to set up a world, main character, supporting cast and some villains quite well, if I do say so myself.