Finding My Wings, Being a fairy isnt as easy as you think Options

[Jahnavi]

This was a fun chapter. Self-contained and with a fairly basic plot, but it let character interactions really take center stage. There was all this humerous bickering and talking which helped flesh out the characters (Faragonda and Griffon, right? It's been a while since I've read this and I just wanted to be sure), and of course...

INTERNET PIRACY!!!! Oh, how I love your noble -admittedly unintended- defense of the practice and please excuse me while I heap the kudos on you. ^_^

Thank you. ^^
I wanted to use this chapter to mainly develop their characters a little bit more; the next chapter will be a more descriptive one, about what happened at the ball.
The other character (Faye) is not Griffin though (I plan to wait a while before bringing Griffin into the story, because there's a slightly complicated history between Griffin and Fara), she's an OC of mine.
Lol, and the piracy part was unintended, at first. I realized it later, while writing the rest of the chapter, but decided to keep it anyway. (And I can't help but be a fan of internet piracy, because nothing (music, movies, TV shows) ever releases on time here in India, and so piracy is instinctive and natural, for me, lol...)

YAY new chapter!

I really liked this one, it was funny but also showed what kind of relationship Faye and Fara have. I also liked that you included little bits about how the characters looked. It's bad form to get too descriptive, but I like at least knowing the basics, and you did that well.

I'm excited for chapter 3 ^^

Thanks!
I took esca and Humbu's advice, and decided to make my story a bit more descriptive, but I wasn't sure if I downplayed the description a little too much. I'm glad you think what I wrote was enough, for the time being. ^^

This post has been edited by Jahnavi: Jun 21 2009, 9:19 AM

[MorriganAensland]

Ah. My mistake, but I'll keep that in mind now. Keep up the good work. ^_^

[Purityangel]

Great story! Can't wait to see the next one. ^_^

[Jahnavi]

Thanks, Trice! ^^

[Fortress Guy]

I think you did a good job of establishing who these characters are. Especially in the first chapter, which I think moved along nicely. Through the conflict over the nighttime incantations you were able to define the personalities of both Faye and Fara.

Unfortunately for Faye, as the story progresses she turns into more and more of a manipulative girl IMO. Fara wants to do what is right and Faye keeps dragging her to the dark side. She even manipulates Fara with the dance and her mysterious boyfriend issue.

The pacing on the second chapter was not as crisp as the first, but the strong first chapter pushed me through.

I am gratified that they did not pull one over completely on the teacher. Too bad for Fara and serves Faye right.

I think it is well written, and the best stuff was in the first chapter. You chose a different format than standard book writing. I am sure you have your reasons.

Creativity is good. :)

This post has been edited by Fortress Guy: Jun 24 2009, 1:46 PM

[humbu111]

[Jahnavi]

I think you did a good job of establishing who these characters are. Especially in the first chapter, which I think moved along nicely. Through the conflict over the nighttime incantations you were able to define the personalities of both Faye and Fara.

Unfortunately for Faye, as the story progresses she turns into more and more of a manipulative girl IMO. Fara wants to do what is right and Faye keeps dragging her to the dark side. She even manipulates Fara with the dance and her mysterious boyfriend issue.

The pacing on the second chapter was not as crisp as the first, but the strong first chapter pushed me through.

I am gratified that they did not pull one over completely on the teacher. Too bad for Fara and serves Faye right.

I think it is well written, and the best stuff was in the first chapter. You chose a different format than standard book writing. I am sure you have your reasons.

Creativity is good. :)

Faye is manipulative, lol. She can be pretty good at getting other people to do her work for her (however, as you can see, Fara doesn't always let that happen).
And as for the boyfriend issue, which is kind of tied to why Fara agreed to help with the music, it's all going to be explained in the next chapter. Fara wouldn't normally do that, but this time she has her reasons... *shiftyeyes*
And I'm glad you think it's different from standard book writing, but specifically in what way to you think it's different? (I need to know what to keep doing, lol.)
And thanks for the comments!

Amazing as usual! Another really good, fun to read chapter! Its very well written and the suspense is enough to keep the reader going, without over doing it. Cant wait for the next chapter, keep up the stunning work!

Aw, thanks Bu-Bro! ^^
And I'm glad you think I'm not overdoing the suspense, because that means I've achieved the effect I wanted. ^^ (I mean, I'm all for cliffhangers, but I wouldn't really want to write something like "And then there was a loud crack, and the large glass chandelier fell from the ceiling, heading straight for Faragonda..." That's not really my style...)

[Winx4eva!]

Wow, Jahn-Jahn! What an Awesome, Creative, Fun and Magical piece of writing!

Keep up the super-work!

[Jahnavi]

Thanks so much, Mish! ^^

[Fortress Guy]

Oh the format? I just noted that instead of doing paragraphs and such as one might see in a novel, you went to a sort of list format with returns after every complete sentence. That is a different kind of style. it is fresh, I give it that. (I mean come on, remember that host guy Vizier from the ball? He liked to capitalize every word in his sentences. That was different too as you noted then. You always have your eyes open.)

The drawback is that the power of the paragraph is not working for you. Paragraphs can be a good way to prepare a reader for the next thought or action. A new paragraph is also a common way of letting the reader know the next person is talking.

You have seeded the mysterious boyfriend issue well. Now I wonder who it is and what is the issue. Yay creativity!

[humbu111]

[Abdu 6b]

This was an awesome chapter. Can't wait for the punishment discussion. I thought Fara's excuse would be "Faye put a sleeping spell on us"

[Jahnavi]

Thanks, Abdu! ^^

I'm about half-way through Chapter Three, expect an update in a few days.

[Abdu 6b]

Sure

[Hyourinmaru]

This is a good story. Continue soon!

[Abdu 6b]

Continue soon please!

[rano0oma]

wow!!! awesome please continue soon!!