Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
Well, I went through this and to be honest I think a few things could have been cleared up a bit better, like how the narrator can somehow switch to two people and who she was interacting with. Really, just a bit more exposition and clarification for certain things. The story so far, what I could gather from it, was pretty colorful and quirky, and that's always nice to see.
Group: Members
Posts: 2,886
Joined: February 20 2009
From: Another Sky
thanks for the criticism although The "narrator" is actualy the protagonist. Also this is the rough copy. I have cleaned up many things, edited, cut out, changed, you name it! Anywho i have made edits in the hope to someday complete it and perhaps turn it into a novel?
Anywho im not going to post the newer version here. Maybe in a new topic or my blog or something. I also have to ask to any who can 9without going overboard of course) please give me some contructive criticism and new ideas ect. Im always welcome to some change! :3
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I AM A HORROR. LOVELY SET BY EMI. MUSA DRAWN BY ALAMISTERRA.
Group: Members
Posts: 2,886
Joined: February 20 2009
From: Another Sky
I'm only posting to day im sad.. i think i may have delted the edited and primmed first chapter of this story which took me months!!! >.< im looking kneee deep to find it!!!
i also plan to continue it for those interested, maybe someday send it to an editor.
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I AM A HORROR. LOVELY SET BY EMI. MUSA DRAWN BY ALAMISTERRA.