Uhm..help Options

[musaenchantixthe...]

well i found a lost friend.
she was one of my dearest friend, we knew each other since 2nd grade. she was like a big sister to me, so overprotective of me, treated me like a baby.
but in the 6th grade, she started having problem with her mother and family. terrible problems. so she had to get away, and i heard she moved with her father, but then there were more problems. so she left, and i didn't know where, i asked her brother but he wouldn't tell me nothing.
for 4 years i wonder where was she, i was scared for her, until the friday before last friday. i saw her and i was so shocked to see her. she had tattoos on her back and a piercing below her bottom lip, and she was with a guy, her boyfriend i'm sure, and his family. and she was holding a little baby boy. i was so shocked. i couldn't believe she did this to herself.
i wanted to say hey and hug her, telling her i miss her so much, but i was so shocked after i saw her, i wanted to cry.
i think she waved hello to me but i'm not sure, i didn't wave back.
its been bothering me ever since. i don't know what to do. it really hurt me to see her like that. what she did with her body.and the baby boy. i'm hoping that isn't her.. son..
i don't know what to do. please help.

[Jahnavi]

See if you can contact her again, and just talk to her. I know that all of this does look bad, but you shouldn't jump to conclusions. She's been through tough times, and the last thing she'd want is for someone to pick on her. Try to talk to her, and see if you can help her out in any way. Just remember that the girl you once you is still there, you just have to get through to her. I'm sure it'll be okay. =)

[humbu111]

how old is she, btw? (only say if u feel comfortable saying it)

[Hirondelle]

That must've been a huge shock to you, but you should try to talk to her like what Jahnavi said. Sure, those physical changes are there, but more importantly, has her character changed? If she's still the same friend you knew years before, than that's all that matters, because it can be difficult to find an unchanged person like that. If she's gone through difficult times and is still a nice quality person, than she's really lucky to be that way and for you to have that. I've seen people who've turned out for the worse because of difficult times...and then I've seen others who live in a way I don't approve of but they're some of the best people I'm lucky to know.

[musaenchantixthe...]

she is a year younger then me. so she's 16.
i try calling her mother but her mother says she knows nothing about her and hangs up.
i'll try to contact her, i hope i can find her.
thanks so much for the advice. ^_^ thanks. it really helps, cause none of my friends are here to help me.

[Zhanneel]

If you can friend her somehow (and get a hold of her), there's still a chance she could use a solid friend like you in her life. However, if she's changed so much that she wants to drag you down with herself, well, just don't get caught in that. But if she is still the same person on the inside you might be able to make something of her and she may revert back (a little) to her old self. She's 16 so, I'd say there's still a lot of time for her to become something different. High school (or if she's not in school, puberty/adolescence) is probably her time to experiment and try out new things. In a few years she may even look back on what she did and be completely ashamed. If she still accepts you as her good friend you might even be able to support her through any problems she is having. I hope she comes around either way.

[esca Eterna]

Oh, metb, I'm sorry to hear that. Losing friends is really hard to handle, I know too. It's really strange to think of your lost friend as the way she is now, and that's totally understandable, it's a shock. It's harder still because you don't know what's happened to her, so it seems like one day she was your friend and the next some unfamiliar person. But that also means that you can't know the reasons why she's like this. Maybe she's still the same friend you had on the inside, just life has worn her out, so to speak, on the outside. Everyone's right, just because someone's appearance/life changes doesn't mean their care for another has.
Everyone else is right about contacting her too. If you can, explain how much you've missed her and how much she meant to you, and that you still want to be her friend, if that's true. Then, ask her what's happened and to explain everything, so you can get a sense of what her life has been like since she left. You may have to be the one comforting and protect her, who knows what could happen.
If you can't right away, maybe it's for the better: giving you time to recover the shock and be more open-minded. I know you are, my friend, but stay open-minded. That's what'll get you through this.
Hope things work out for the best, and hope I helped ^^
♥

[musaenchantixthe...]

oh thanks you so much zhanneel and esca! thanks esca. what you said is how i feel. in this quote. "so it seems like one day she was your friend and the next some unfamiliar person"
i tryed looking for her on myspace. so many of the same name!
but what i really hate right now is that i should have spoken up and said something to her when she was in front of me but no i just watch her leave again. getting into the car and left. its like a repeat of what happen long time ago.

[humbu111]

that happens to me too, that i regret staying quiet and miss a perfect one-time opportunity

[mightymarty2]

I am sorry to hear about it but if a good friend has changed so much then its understandable and shocked so you did not speak up and talk to her. However it sounds that it may have changed beyond recognition, so you may see her again but don't get you hopes up. Although if she was such a good friend, I hope you become good friends again.

[Zhanneel]

Aww, don't fret too much about it METB. If you find her I'm sure you'll be more than happy to help her. But if for some reason you don't see her again maybe that's just how things should turn out. I just don't want you to regret not approaching her and then hit yourself over the head years from now because you regret not having talked to her. And maybe she isn't ready for help at this point anyway, or it's possible that she didn't want anyone from her past life coming into her present. Remember, she too could have approached you and talked to you.

[esca Eterna]

Yeah, I agree with Zhanneel. Maybe she wasn't ready to see you again, and she too could have said something. Maybe you would have just ended up arguing or something else. Maybe it's just for the better that you didn't. And besides, you were sort of in shock, so you probably wouldn't have known what to say then. So don't beat yourself up. Living with regret is like living with leeches on your leg. But you can always kick them off and leave them in the road behind you. It's not always easy but it's possible.
And that was my psychological input for the day. ^^
Anyway, glad I can help you.
♥

[Tecna 01]

It happens metb when even I will go higher I will also remember my friends. Thats a case with everyone. My best friend said that even she was going to leave the school. Hope yu also keep contact with your best friend.

[Princess Rissa]

oh i'm so sorry METB but i kinda read something like this on fanfiction.net and it was on the camp rock section to ... but what i'm curious is that is her boyfriend the father and she's the mother

[musaenchantixthe...]

i found her! it was at my sister first concert. i saw her down the hallway and she turned around and called my name. i was shocked, but i ran to her (i was scared i was going to lose her through the crowd, cause that place was pack) we hug, cried, and she told me what has happen. i was sad to hear what happen.
her parents didn't want to do anything with her, pretty much kicked her out of her house. and she is living with her boyfriend's family, i think. but i was so happy to see her, but then i couldn't see her cause i had to seat down with my family and watch my sister perform (she got a solo part) after that i didn't see her.
but i'm glad i finally saw her and found out what has happen. thanks to everyone for you advice. thank you very much. ^_^

[mightymarty2]

thats ok,

[humbu111]

Whoa, did you atleast get an opportunity to get a phone number or e-mail adress or something?

[musaenchantixthe...]

no. yea i know, you'll think i'll remember to ask that but i didn't. i really didn't have time too.

[humbu111]

Thats understandable. Hopefully you'll meet up with her again sometime soon

[Zhanneel]

I'm glad you got the chance to meet her again, if only to calm your mind and to know she's doing okay at least. I'm glad she has some support.