To start out, I have been having a lot of anxiety issues as of late, and I've been feeling stressed and pressured about a number of things, namely social situations, school, and perhaps most prominently, my weight, but that's really a seperate issue. See, my friend has basically had a lot of boy troubles, her first boyfriend broke up with her a while back, and she's not sure how things are at the moment, and I'm a source of advice, despite the fact I've never had a boyfriend(another source of angst, but again, another issue altogether) and she comes to me for advice frequently. Now, usually I'm happy to help her out....but...I have issues too and sometimes I'm frankly sick of listening. I always kind of feel like I listen to everyone, and when I vent to her, she just nods, but is pretty clearly ignoring me. And I worry. A lot. So when she just ignores me, I feel...marginalised, like my problems don't count, because I just worry and you know, her boy troubles are so important and mine don't count because I've never been 'in love' with a boy or had a 'real' relationship, so I'm not mature. But then I stand back, nd I realize how mean that sounds...but am I being selfish? Is it wrong for me to be downright sick of listening to her when she doesn't listen to me? I feel like my problems are nothing, but then I stand back and I do have serious issues, espcially about my weight, and I'm starting to get scared. But as I said, I obsess incessantly, and when I vent to said friend, I feel like she's not listening and that she's rolling her eyes at me....I just don't know whether this is a bad thing or not...I just needed a bit of advice, and feel free to put me in my place if you do think I'm just being callous.
I feel sorry for you. You are in between a rock and a hard place.
Firstly you should take credit for being a person your friend feels she can trust. However its give and take, so she should listen to you and your problems as well. Secondly I hope this doesn't sound harsh and I know its hard but I think you need to forget about relationships (it will happen at some point) and your weight they are not that important. Just eat healthily and your fine. As for school it is stressful you just need a good outlet to completly forget about it and relax (what that is, is up to you).
So in conclusion I don't think you are being selfish. I hope this has been some help
Oh my, Kathrun. <3
You and I are very, very similar, my dear. My best friend is exactly the friend that you have, and I am like you. Time and time and time again have I been through similar situations, and it's frustrating. If you ever want to just vent to someone who's fairly neutral, and who gets it entirely as it feels as though you've described my life's story, feel free to hit me up a PM on Facebook or something.
Urg, this sounds frustrating. I wouldn't say you're being selfish, it's perfectly reasonable for you to want to be listened to sometimes, instead of doing all the listening. As for the things that are stressing you out, I hope you can find some help and peace of mind soon.
also, a friend I used to have used to ask me about boy/relationship advice all the time, and like you I've never been in one XD man why do they do that
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Aww dang that situation really sucks, I feel for you =/ But let me ask you something: are you sure that she's aware of what she's doing? Or more importantly, since what she's doing sounds pretty intentional to me, is she aware that you (understandably) have a specific problem with what she's doing? Like what I'm getting at is, probably what most people wouldn't want to hear in a situation like this but I'ma say it nonetheless, that maybe you should talk to her. Like it doesn't even have to be so emotional or anything, just wait for the right moment and start off something like "honestly, sometimes it feels like you're not really listening to me when I tell you about my problems" and see what she says, and basically go from there. If you do take my advice, I would suggest phrasing what you say in as less of an accusing tone as you can manage, since clearly you are (understandably) accusing her, but highlighting the fact that she's being accused will likely only aggravate her and not solve the problem. That being said, the next step depends solely on her reaction. If she apologizes and admits to her mistake, then I would say to give her another chance. If she gets all defensive and maybe even aggressive, then you just found out that you have one less friend than you thought. Which isn't a bad thing exactly since I think most people would rather have one "friend" less rather than to have a fake friend. One thing though, when talking to her, if she reacts badly it would be wise to avoid getting into a full out fight/argument with her since even though she seems like she's ignoring you, she probably knows alot of things about you that you would not want her to spread around. So yeah, that's my advice, hope its of some help :) Good luck, and keep us updated!
As late is this post is, I've held off for a number of reasons.
Firstly, perhaps most importantly, as I should've returned sooner, but things have been hectic. Anyway, I talked to her. It worked, and she understands I need help. So thank you guys for listening and offering advice and such, I don't know what I would've done without you guys, now and the past few years of my life. I haven't been happy. And she turned out to be feeling sorry. I'm kind of glad it worked out, she's been the first real best friend I've had for a long time.
However, that pretty much came only after I went through mental hell, another reason why I was holding off. Anyway, my mother is now aware of the issues I have with anxiety and such, and I am going to be getting help with the rest of it, and I'm going to be getting things to help, especially with the weight issue, which was starting to get scary.
But anyway, thank you for the advice. You guys are excellent, really <3
We love you, Kate. <3
That is all.
Its good that things are now progressing in a posative manner and you are getting help
Yeah we all love you Kate and i really thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support you've given me in my life's problems, same goes to all of you... MCF is amazing ^^ glad to hear you are getting help and things are looking better.