The Decent into darkness, a short story ^ ^ Options

[sweetmusa]

ITS NOT REALLY GOOD AND ITS NOT MY BEST WORK SINCE ALWAYS WRITE TOO MUCH DESCRIPTION BUT PLEASE READ
The night was quiet and solemn as the moonlight crept through by bedroom window but i had no time for admiring its light as i sat cowering in my closet. My mind was clouded with thoughts.
"Will they find me?"
or
"What should i do if they see me?"
and more often
" Will tonight be my last?"
I found myself thinking this as i sat in the darkness.I was troubled, my body trembled in fear. I felt my will against falling asleep was fading away despite all of my struggles.I got drowsier and drowsier and soon fell asleep.When i awoke i found myself quite dizzy, at that time i found myself in darkness; Seeing the moon i believed it to be about midnight.I felt cold and wet at my feet,as I looked down and found myself standing in a pool of blood. A shock ran though me and i felt an ebbing crack as the little sanity I had was being torn away.Before it knew it i was in the deep and terrifying abyss of my mind, slowly creeping through my door head's thoughts filled with murder and deceit,I was sunk in piles of grey,the darkness had fully sucked me in.I was alone and confused as i lay wondering, sinking deeper and deeper.
Completely Alone
Alone, i grew wild with hate and fright,the sound of footsteps coming closer and closer,i knew my faith was already set to doom.Drenched in blood i arose and clambered to my window muttering a few words goodbye to the sad world which i grew up in.I counted to three knowing that they would that they may be my last breaths."One,"the footsteps at the door stopped"Two,"i heard the rattling of the the doorknob, "Three." I had already begun the steps to my demise.

This post has been edited by sweetmusa: Oct 22 2010, 10:49 PM

[P-girl]

Please watch your grammar and your spelling it's descend, not decent, an 'I' to indicate yourself is always a capital letter. Always a space after a comma, like this. And if someone starts to speak, always use the enter button.
"New speaker, new paragraph. Like this."

Your story will be much easier to read like that.

This post has been edited by P-girl: Aug 1 2010, 8:07 AM

[sweetmusa]

sorry ^ ^ i need to work on my grammar more