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 Majischule, A world will open up to you if you're right for it... |
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 May 26 2008, 10:12 PM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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Hehehe, Talika is tall. Therefore, extremely skinny (I have seen such cases)
Rojye is... Rojye. And yes, indeed, he is the oldest. I did plan on having him show his nice side, but I kinda based him off of Warren Peace from "Sky High" (Yes, I know, I'm a nerd >.< I have no social life!!!)
Next chapter coming soon. Hiatus explained in blog "Enter My Mind" >>>>> *points wildly* so if you want to hear my heart-wrenching gut-bursting story of why Majischul hasn't been cleared of its invaders yet, troop over there. *collapses*
This post has been edited by LinneaKou: May 26 2008, 10:13 PM
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May 29 2008, 12:50 AM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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All right!! Here is the delayed belated HOLY-COW-IT-TOOK-FOREVER chapter. Maybe I should do what MorriganAensland does and update it weekly. Anyways, here it is: Majischul Book 1: Banvutu'u Majischul! Chapter 7: Kimi Wa Se Ni Tenshi No Hane O Motsu (You Have An Angel's Wings On Your Back) Created 2008 by LinneaKou Studios LTD. Within seconds, we were overrun. "LEE!" I heard my mom scream. I watched, as if in a dream, as Rojye grabbed my brother and sister under his arms and sprang into the air, headed for safety. Talika flew off with my dad while Salima saved my mom. Lucia and Shiia took hold of Sara's arms (with her protesting all the way) and took off after the others. Which left me with Ben. "GO!" he yelled. "I can handle this!" "You're kidding!" I shouted back. I hugged him around the waist and attempted to lift off. No dice. I was earthbound for this sole reason: I just wasn't strong enough to lift him. Crud. Instead, I grabbed his arm and dragged him off. We ducked and weaved through the woods, and then came out in the courtyard section where the auditorium/gym was. I kept seeing daemons in the trees, trying to catch up with us. Several times, one leaped at me, and I ducked, letting it fly over me. Ben did the same, and we made it to the gym in time for me to hear Ms. Lightbringer's voice echo out in a magickally amplified announcement: "ALL STAFF TO THE COURTYARD. ALL STUDENTS AND VISITORS, TO THE AUDITORIUM." I praised my lucky stars and dragged Ben towards the doors. Then, he was yanked out of my grasp. "BEN!" "AUGH!" he yelped as the creatures pulled him down and bit into his arms. "HELP!" "Get off of him!" I screamed, and threw one of my emergency hexes at the one that was biting Ben. It made contact and blew the thing to bits. I saw the bite wounds and my breath caught in my throat. Oh, God! The teeth marks were ringed by a purplish tinge. I remembered reading in a book on self-defense that a low-caste daemon's bite was poisonous. I blasted the other creatures off of Ben and threw the doors open. "Get in!" I yelled. "Find Salima!" He coughed and fell to the ground... ...and that was the last I saw of him as the doors flew shut on lockdown and I was pulled back. The things had pounced on me! "AIIIIIIEEEE!" I shrieked, throwing one off of my shoulder. "No! Get off of me!" I tried a spell that would put up a shield, but it was too advanced for me. One daemon jumped up and pulled my hair, dragging me down. Within seconds, all of his buddies had overrun me. "NO! HELP!" I screamed and swatted them off of me as best as I could, but more kept coming. Eventually, they managed to pin my arms and legs down. One of them looked at my face and sniggered nastily. Then, they began dragging me off into the woods. I kept fighting, but the creatures had worn me out. I had no strength, and my adrenaline had run out on me. I forced my body to go limp to cause them as much trouble as I could as they dragged me. As a result, I kept hitting my head on exposed roots and rocks. Could this day go any worse?? I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut. The creatures kept dragging me for a while, then suddenly dropped me. I fell with a yelp and opened my eyes, glancing wildly around. What I saw merely shocked me. I, along with three others, was imprisoned in a Black Ring. There were daemons patrolling around the prison, but they didn't need to worry. A Black Ring was a circle constructed of the most concentrated Dark Magick that could be used. It was channeled by the primal instincts, and due to its potency was extremely effective. In other words, there was NO WAY I was getting out. I felt like crying in despair. "Hey, it's the Earthing girl!" By now, I had a rather rude nickname from the supremacists of Majischul. Mostly, I ignored it, but now I turned to see who was speaking. Ah. Just my luck. It was Karinita from Class Two, my year. She was worse than Rojye, partially due to the fact that she was Uthra and I wasn't, and yet somehow I still managed to get into the highest class over her. Same old, same old. Like I said, I usually ignored her. I mean, I was so OVER being underestimated that it didn't even bother me that some people still considered my placement a criminal offense. The other student my age was a guy in the Class Three. He was not so bad. Usually, I just saw him in passing. I guess he's neutral. The last prisoner was a little Uthra girl from the primary school. I could tell because she wore a blazer with a button on it. The button read "Solana". Huh. I guess it's her name. I scooted over to her. "Hey, are you all right?" She looked up at me, eyes shining with tears. She sniffled and shook her head, replying with a faint Uthra accent. "I am afeared." Huh. Archaic English. "I think the correct term is 'afraid'." Karinita said coldly. "And I also think that we're all feeling that right now." She shot me a dirty look, as if I somehow was to blame for our present state of captured-ness. I rolled my eyes. "Grow up, will ya?" I patted the little girl's shoulder. "I'm sure Ms. Lightbringer will do something soon." I was more worried about Ben's wound - had Salima found him yet? There hadn't really been time for us to go over the subtleties of treating the bite... I gulped and looked at our captors. This had to have been the WORST - bar none - day of my life. "You have students?"
"Milord, we were only able to capture a few. The rest are under wards placed by Fiora Lightbringer and her staff." the pale-haired Malisha bowed deeply. "One of them is a Class One Fatina. Her powers are immense - but untapped."
The Dark One smiled, baring his teeth. "Surprising. And I thought they kept their powerful students in the Othrworlde. Did you find the one who disturbed my Sight?"
"Milord, we were unable to find her for lack of guidance. The Stones do not favor us." Malisha gestured to the Stone-Casting table where the runes had been read. "Someone is protecting the Fatina. Perhaps when we harvest the prisoners' Magick, we will be able to break through the bonds."
"You'd better speak Sooth," the Dark One said.
Malisha bowed. "Nothing but, my Lord."
"Tell the Daemons to drain the prisoners and leave their husks to crumble in the wind." The Dark One left, and Malisha straightened from her bow and touched the thin air in front of her. A ripple appeared, which yawned into a Portal. She stepped through, conveying the message.
The prisoners were done for.I knew something had changed in the atmosphere around us. It seemed like the daemons were suddenly stimulated. They gathered around the Dark Ring and waited with almost anticipation. "They can't be letting us go," I murmured, feeling fear spike my adrenaline. "They can't." "Maybe Ms. Lightbringer was able to compromise," said the guy. I doubted this. The Dark Ring collapsed, and the daemons swarmed at us. Quickly, the guy and Karinita leapt up into the trees. Obviously, the daemons had forgotten about the Class Three-and-up ability to fly. I, with the little girl, was not so lucky. "Solana, can you fly?" The girl shook her head. "Great. Here goes again!" I was stopped in my attempt at escape by a really LARGE daemon, which grabbed my hair again. The little girl screamed as more creatures surged towards her, grabbing at her tiny wrists. Crud! I broke the daemon's grip on me and started blasting, slapping, and pulling off the creatures from the little girl. She looked up at me with glassy eyes, wondering why I hadn't fled like Karinita and that other guy had. To tell you the truth, I was wondering, too. But I knew I couldn't just ABANDON the poor thing... So I kept fighting. "GET--" WHACK! "YOUR CLAWS--" FWASH! "OFFA HER!!" SZZING! The daemons all fell away and circled, warily. I felt myself short of breath and panted, grabbing Solana's wrist and pulling her close. "Stay by me." "I canna leave..." she whimpered at the sight of the creatures edging close. "BACK OFF!" I barked, and they obeyed, growling. I swallowed and thought, Now what?Then, the calvary arrived. "LEE!" "Lìnnia-douchi!" "HOLD ON!" Shiia, Rojye, and Lucia charged in, somehow wearing battle armor. Then, I realized what was going on... by Jove, those three - and probably Salima and Talika, too - had mastered their secondary forms! Rojye attacked with blunt force, running down and ramming the creatures' front lines and clearing a path for us to escape on foot. Unfortunately, the path filled up again with a seemingly endless supply of daemons. Shiia swept down to grab the little girl, and I smiled thankfully at her. She nodded, saluted, and took off towards the gym. Which left me, Lucia, and Rojye to fight a whole horde of these creatures. I summoned up my remaining reserves of energy and started throwing the best offensive spells I knew - which were, admittedly, not so strong. Lucia was the air-cover, watching my back from above. Rojye worked on barreling through the lines and trying to suppress the sheer numbers of the invasion. All in all, we were going to get tired out, lose, and possibly die. Oh, joy!! I was starting to feel despair for it all when Lucia crashed to the ground next to me. His nose was bleeding, and he was woozy. "Something... in the trees..." I looked up and sure enough, more creatures had swarmed up the trees to combat Lucia's air-attacks. Rojye skidded down next to me - while he'd been fighting, he'd heard Lucia fall and become distracted, thus opening himself up for a blow. He groaned and tried to sit up, but the creatures sprang on him. I tried to throw an energy ball, but it flickered before it left my hand. There goes my bag of tricks. Lucia cried out, and I turned and started throwing daemons off of him and Rojye, who'd been pummeled unconscious. "Hold on, Lucia!" "Lìnnia...!" I threw out an energy ring, throwing the daemons back for the moment, and tried to sit Lucia up to keep his nose from bleeding anymore. "Oh, God..." "At least... I got to... protect you... for once..." Lucia smiled weakly, then his eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped forward. I felt my hands go numb. I was all alone with two wounded comrades who needed help. I wasn't doing so hot, either. My heart started pumping as the creatures started moving in again. I heard screams from a little away and saw that, unlike what I'd thought, Shiia and Solana had been cut off by winged daemons, which had arrived seconds before... Suddenly, I wasn't afraid anymore. I was mad. Mad. Sick and tired of it. Every little emotion I'd been keeping bottled up inside of me started bubbling to the surface. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. I wanted to LIVE. I wanted to finish my damned schooling, find love, interpret my Godforsaken dreams, and see my little sister graduate med school. I was NOT going to die!! "GET AWAY!" I screamed. And then things got foggy. Next thing I knew, the daemons were running away from me. Shiia's eyes were huge, and Solana's mouth had dropped open in shock. I blinked and looked down at myself. To my utter shock, my school clothes had been replaced by a shining armor suit of gold. And looking over my shoulders at the sound of rustling feathers, I found myself staring at two large, angelic-looking wings. I felt myself go numb, but turned back to the creatures, who'd decided that second form or not, they were going to complete their job. I spread my wings and grinned. "Go ahead," I challenged. "Try." They jumped forward, but with one fluid, dance-like movement, I threw up a shield that threw them back. The creatures jumped away in surprise, and then another bunch tried to attack from behind. I then retaliated. "RISING NOVA!" I threw my hands out and a huge rain of lighting bolts rained down on the front line of the creatures, frying them and making them blacken and crumble. I turned the rain of lightning into a blitzkrieg, firing more and more until most of the horde had been burnt to a crisp. I turned back to the other side and the little faction that had been behind me leapt at me. I batted them away with speed and agility that I'd never possessed before, dishing out punches and kicks like I'd been taking martial-arts most of my life. I threw another blitzkrieg attack, decimating the remainders. Except that wasn't it. A whole other horde of flying daemons surged forward, and, making sure that none would land, I took to the air and wove through the mob of invaders, creating a lightning storm of epic proportions. I wasn't getting tired at all - I just kept going, knowing the alternative was to let everyone here die. Eventually, they stopped coming; I saw why. With a fury worthy of Zeus himself, Headmistress Fiora Lightbringer appeared in the midst of the aerial dogfight. She and I worked together, blasting the creatures until the ground was littered with their corpses. On the ground, Jiselle and a few other teachers were gathering the others that had been trapped with me. Sometime around then, I guess the order came from the higher-ups of the underworld to stop sending the creatures. The ones remaining turned tail and retreated faster than you could say "hopscotch". Ms. Lightbringer and I landed, and she smiled at me with pure pride. "Lìnnia, that was very good." I blushed, but I heard Shiia gasp. "Lìnnia, look at your wings?" "Huh?" I turned around and examined them. "What's wrong with them?" "They're Goddess wings, Lee! No Fatina has those! No one except the Megumi-levels, and they're so rare...!" Shiia stared at me wildly. "Lee, where did all of that power come from? I had reached my limit half an hour ago." "Indeed, Lìnnia. Where did you get all of that energy?" Ms. Lightbringer regarded me seriously. I felt myself shrink. "Uh, can we at least get out of the woods? I want to check on my family... and Ben... and Lucia and Rojye--" "Your Earthing friend Benjamin is fine. Salima healed his injury soon after you disappeared." Ms. Lightbringer said. "Your family is unharmed, but extremely worried about you. Rojye and Lucia will be fine, they were just knocked unconscious." "What about the two that were captured with me? Karinita and some other guy..." "They arrived twenty-two minutes ago, and the Third Class Elfin Jireeti C'Halka reported that there were still two prisoners left in the woods," Jiselle answered. I felt myself deflate. "Solana?" I asked. The little girl ran forward and caught me in a gigantic hug. "THANK YOU!" she cried. "THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME! Please, be my big sister!" I blinked. "Big sister?" Jiselle laughed. "Over the shock, eh?" Ms. Lightbringer was not amused. "Lìnnia, let's get you reunited with your parents. Then, we'll discuss this unusual development concerning your powers." I looked up and caught Lucia's gaze - when did HE wake up?? - and he blinked wearily. I sighed, hung my head, and nodded. "You're right. Let's go." ***************************************** w00t! My first action chapter! I'm really not good at it, so... yeah. For anyone astute enough to notice, the title is actually a line from Ayumi Hamasaki's "Angel's Song" which is the song I was listening to when I was working on Lee's battle costume. I figured it would be a good song for Lee as her theme. Go and find a recording of it - it's on Ayu's Memorial Address CD. Also, check out the lyrics at http://ayumi.primenova.com. I think it fits. =D YEY! Solana finally makes her first appearance. I've decided I needed a hyperactive, younger character to act as a comic relief when necessary. I'm not kidding. It works. Finally, LEE'S FIRST HENSHIN! *throws confetti* YAYZ~! *Lee: Finally! I thought I was going to die! *Solana: Onee-sama! *Ben: O_o This isn't "Strawberry Panic!" is it? Wow, that just about killed me. I hope this makes up for the wait. *goes off and collapses from sheer drain of energy* *Sara: From now on, Majischule will most likely be updated once a week, and most likely on either a Friday or a Saturday. *Shiia: We hope this will not inconvenience anyone. *Salima: Comments are still welcome. *Rojye: Hmph. *Ben: Is that all you can say? *Lucia: (in place of unconscious writer LinneaKou) See you next time!! *waves* *Solana: ONEE-SAMA!!!!! *Talika: I think she [LinneaKou] is giggling in her sleep. *Rojye: Creepy...
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May 29 2008, 3:15 AM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
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Funny. I moreso imagined Lee killing monsters to the sound of Casshern's Reqiuem. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km81vcpxdyk <- EXTREME WARNING! Do not watch if you don't want to see massive amounts of bloodshed and brutality on the part of an anti-hero)
Mizuki: This is her fic. She can have whatever music she wants to go to her Henshin as she wants. Besides, that's my song.
Minako: I thought JAM Project's Dragon was yours. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maGo746WoLE)
Mizuki: You can have more than one song.
Horoki: I thought your natural aversion to dragons due to Yoko would make you hate the song. Plus it talks about the inescapable nature of a cyclic fate.
Mizuki: (Begins manifesting Dai Makai) It also speaks of doing everything in the name of someone you care about and giving it your all until you die. It breaks even.
Asuka: I don't know. You seem to demand every hot-blooded JAM Project song fits you perfectly, even though you're a lot more bitter than most Super Robot heroes. You seem more the-
*sounds of screaming echo through the post*
Mana: *walks out of the wreckage and pulls out an energy bar* Thank you, healing powers.
Anyways, I enjoyed Lee standing up for the little girl, and it brought back fond memories of that one Discword book where Rincewind beat the crap out of a demon that was trumped up to be able to bring about the end of the world at the drop of the hat. And she's also got her little morality pet now to keep her in line. And she's starting to show off what she's capable of, which is arguably both a good and a bad thing.
Anyways, it's nice to know that the male characters are not going to be shoved over to the side in which they are essentially cannon fodder. *cough*REDFOUNTAIN!!!!!!!*uncough* Hopefully they'll maintain their level of usefulness or at least not go down too much.
And on another note, sticking with weekly updates helps. I usually start work on Wednesday, get a page done, continue on Thursday, go until I run out of steam, and finish up on Friday no matter how long it takes... which usually isn't too long though.
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Hey, look! My sig's back! |
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May 29 2008, 8:27 PM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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Eheh, you are an inspiration to us all.
Lee's theme song (as in if I ever make a web page dedicated to this fic and put a character profile of Lee on it, this song would be playing in the background) is "Angel's Song" by Ayumi Hamasaki. I don't know, it sort of captures her essence in it. I guess it's told from varying viewpoints, but I thought the song would be a good match for her.
*Lee: I love that song!!
As for the music playing in the background for the fight scene... well, I was kind of imagining Nami Tamaki's "Brightdown" from D.Gray-man.
*Lee: ALL HAIL!! "Fureta yubi sameta KIZUNA ni..."
*Ben: Eh, it's not so good.
*Lee: Shut up.
*Rojye: No one cares about your opinion.
*Shiia: Can't we all be nice to each other?
*Sara: Are you kidding? This is EARTH. 'Nuff said.
*Solana: ONEE-SAMA!!
*Ben: ACK! Again with the "onee-sama"!!
Anyways, since I've posted this whopper of an energy-drainer, I'll try and work up another for NEXT week. 'Till then, I'll probably release my first omake by tomorrow or Saturday. *goes and hammers on scanner* and MAYBE my stupid setup will finally work for me!
*Rojye: Ah, technology. It can be a blessing, or a burden.
*Lee: I've stepped into a madhouse.
PEACE Y'ALL!! XD
This post has been edited by LinneaKou: May 29 2008, 8:30 PM
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May 30 2008, 2:43 AM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Honor Members
Posts: 4,766
Joined: April 1 2007
From: Here.
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QUOTE w00t! My first action chapter! I'm really not good at it, so... yeah. For anyone astute enough to notice, the title is actually a line from Ayumi Hamasaki's "Angel's Song" which is the song I was listening to when I was working on Lee's battle costume. I figured it would be a good song for Lee as her theme. Go and find a recording of it - it's on Ayu's Memorial Address CD. Also, check out the lyrics at http://ayumi.primenova.com. I think it fits. =D YEY! Solana finally makes her first appearance. I've decided I needed a hyperactive, younger character to act as a comic relief when necessary. I'm not kidding. It works. Finally, LEE'S FIRST HENSHIN! *throws confetti* YAYZ~! *Lee: Finally! I thought I was going to die! *Solana: Onee-sama! *Ben: O_o This isn't "Strawberry Panic!" is it? Wow, that just about killed me. I hope this makes up for the wait. *goes off and collapses from sheer drain of energy* *Sara: From now on, Majischule will most likely be updated once a week, and most likely on either a Friday or a Saturday. OMG! I luv Angel Song! Hehe..it is the second to the top of my playlist on Gaia. I have one of those asian tastes in music. Haha...Solana seems a bit wooo there...hehe...like one of those girls who gets really attached to one person. Please don't let it be Strawberry Panic! OOH AND NOW I KNOW WHEN MY FAV FANFIC WILL BE REALEASED! ^.^ Thank you! QUOTE *Lee: I love that song!!
As for the music playing in the background for the fight scene... well, I was kind of imagining Nami Tamaki's "Brightdown" from D.Gray-man.
*Lee: ALL HAIL!! "Fureta yubi sameta KIZUNA ni..."
*Ben: Eh, it's not so good.
*Lee: Shut up.
*Rojye: No one cares about your opinion.
*Shiia: Can't we all be nice to each other?
*Sara: Are you kidding? This is EARTH. 'Nuff said.
*Solana: ONEE-SAMA!!
*Ben: ACK! Again with the "onee-sama"!!
Anyways, since I've posted this whopper of an energy-drainer, I'll try and work up another for NEXT week. 'Till then, I'll probably release my first omake by tomorrow or Saturday. *goes and hammers on scanner* and MAYBE my stupid setup will finally work for me!
*Rojye: Ah, technology. It can be a blessing, or a burden.
*Lee: I've stepped into a madhouse.
PEACE Y'ALL!! XD YAY! ROYJE IS SPEAKING MORE THAN A SENTENCE!!! I'll help you wack the heck out of your scanner if I could! *virtually gets a wrench (first tool that popped up in my mind) and starts hitting scanner* So violent. XD Well, Angel Song has more of a glorious magical thing kind of. Brightdown gives more of an action image to Lee so it matters how you want viewers to portray her. Both songs are good though I like Brightdown more at the moment. Changes with my mood. But again...Solano is seems one of those people like Yukari from Rosario + Vampire or something.
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 I am not WEIRDhopefullyI think
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former." ~ Albert Einstein |
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May 30 2008, 7:25 AM
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Butterflix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 1,093
Joined: May 13 2008
From: The Depths
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alright, I'm going to review Majischule (no one escapes my break down). First I'm going with Aensland with the naming scheme. to me it seems a bit childish, but this can be easily remedied by using a different language's word for magic (or in this case magik). I tend to try and side step using normally cliche terms, but if i have to use it I'll either use it out and out or pull a fast one and use a different language all together. and sometimes its rather fun to use a common term in a different language as someone's name. not that I do this all the time, mind you, but it can really help with writing. First person view in writing can be a bit easy to write in but sometimes its a bit hard not to stick to it, I noticed a couple of slip ups where you almost went into third person. key word was "almost", and I have done it where I was told to write a first person view story and I slipped into third person limited. so I can't say I'm exempt. this is kinda an odd thing to mention, after Aensland mentioned her distaste for *insert reincarnation of epic hero(ine)* it felt like you changed the original progression of the story to avoid that. I just found that odd.
on to some of the points I do like, the idea (yes magic/k schools are abundant no matter what) and the take on it are an interesting idea. the class system (one, three, etc.) is something I do see but, when ever I do see it, its usually protaganist starts at the very bottom, or somewhere in the middle, and rarely (have seen it) on the top. but most tend to kinda make the protaganist go through the basics even when they're at the top. I do like that technology does exist in other societies, but its not blatantly apparent. and I do like that it is hinted that there are no Magitek societies (at least to my knowledge) cause that usually leads to "oh god the worlds going to end" scenario. it worked ONCE! and lastly I find that all the characters do have personalities and worries of their own. gives them a fire that most people tend to think they got but they haven't. overall I'm staying neutral on this. haven't seen the story progess much so I can't give judgement.
ps. cut the wangst a back a bit. too much and it can deter some people. and that please note that I'm not trying to be harmful or anything, but take every thing I say with a bit of salt.
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 OMG I's got a color AVY, first one I ever had on this Forum! And now a new sig! blargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblargblarg blargblargblargblarg. |
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May 30 2008, 8:17 PM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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Well, the wangst is something that Lee does well. Actually, this is one of many characters I've made that isn't totally self-confident. I do admit sometimes she goes over the edge, but hey, she's emo. The wangst will probably subside for a while, but since Lee's not completely liking herself at the moment, I hate to say but it's going to come back when it's convenient for story progression. Besides, angst worked for Harry Potter.
Just kidding.
And tell me, where did I *almost* slip up with first-person writing? I'm pretty sure the only times I go into third-person, I specifically italicize the text. Just asking for future reference.
As for the foreign words... well, I would have written them in Old English or something, but I'm not quite a master of that tongue yet. Better off leaving it to Tolkien... but there will be some Spanish and Italian mixed in sometime... yeah. That's about all I can offer, sadly. French is way out for me. -_- Magick IS a real word (like I said, the real manipulation of energy through spells is called "magick" and slight-of-hands is "magic" - ask any Witch AKA Wiccan) and that's just how it will be for me. Most of my fantasy stories contain that word ("magick") instead of the popularly used one ("magic"). Majischule is no different.
And the whole "change-the-progression-of-the-story" thing about the *insert reincarnation here* spiel? Yeah, that was actually planned. Morrigan's comment rather coincidental, and I agree with her on that stand. I wanted there to be a gray area where someone could say "maybe not" and finally shoot down the "you are the chosen one!" tradition of the Mahou Shoujo and Fantasy School genre. I actually get this idea from Psychic Academy. And plus, don't think Lee will get a hero's welcome in the next chapter. That's all I'm saying. >:-D~ Lee is kind of a foil to Bloom and Harry Potter-styled main characters in a sense. I hope to develop that more in the next chapters.
All in all, thank you for reviewing. I have indeed taken all of your comments in and appreciate the critique.
BTW, I love your signature.
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Jun 1 2008, 12:58 AM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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As promised: LINNEAKOU PRESENTS.... MAJISCHUL OMAKE!!
THE DUELING
Lee: Is dueling really that popular?
Sara: Yup.
Lucia: It's all sorts of entertainment.
Rojye: I'm better at it.
Lucia: No, I am!
Lee: Does it really matter?
Shiia: Yeah, everyone knows you two have the biggest decks of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards in the school.
Everyone: *turns and stares at Shiia*
Shiia: What?? Oh, come on. You know I had to do it.
MORE DUELING
Lucia: WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!!
Rojye: EXPECTO PATRONUM!
Lee: What are you two doing???
Lucia: Dueling.
Lee: You're kidding me. *watches as Rojye and Lucia fence using Harry Potter wands* I guess not.
WILL IT STOP?? Majischule Book 1 Chapter 3 outtake:
Lee: Earth isn't a cesspool! It's a diverse world just like yours! It's just different, that's all!
Rojye: It's lower class. No decent subspace networking, no connecting to other planets... by the Shadows, you don't even have LIFE on other planets in this Sol System, do you?
Lee: We're working on it!
Talika: Peace, Lord, lady. *nods to Rojye*
Salima: *places hand on Lee's shoulder* He's right, don't fight with Lìnnia-douchi on her first day at Majischul.
Rojye: You're calling her a douchi? How dare you dirty that name!
Lee: What?
Salima: 'Douchi' means 'gifted one'; I think it describes you well.
Lee: Well, I... I mean...
Rojye: She's a MUDBLOOD!
*all gasp!*
LinneaKou as All-Mighty Director: CUT! (goes and chases Rojye around set, swiping at his head with rolled-up script) I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-DO-THAT-THIS-IS-NOT-HARRY-POTTER!!
Lee: Well, it sure seems like it. I mean, come on. Dueling. Magick School. Supremacists. Big-Bad-Guy-with-a-name-no-one-likes-to-speak. Sounds like HP to me.
LinneaKou as All-Mighty Director: THAT'S IT! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!
Lucia: Can she do that?
All: *shrug*
Do Spells Work??
Lee: It's quite obvious that however much win there is in Harry Potter, no spells in that series work.
Sara: Right, and in the American WinX Club, the way to do a spell is in Latin...
Lee: ...which is basically adding a "icus" or "ius" onto regular ENGRISH words.
Sara: Therefore, you can understand why we modern-day Magick Users prefer that you do not jibe us with such misrepresentations.
Solana: WINIGARDIUM LEVIOSA!!
*picnic table rises off the ground*
Lee: ...
Sara: Okay, maybe not all of the spells in Harry Potter.
Lee: ...WHAT IS THE AUTHOR DOING??? IS SHE ON ALLERGY MEDICINES OR SOMETHING? IS SHE NOT SLEEPING ENOUGH? WHERE IS THE SANITY??
Sara: This world is largely built on irony.
Rojye: Word.
Rojye's Wisdom
Lucia: Hey, Rojye?
Rojye: Hmph?
Lucia: Do you ever feel kind towards anyone?
Rojye: Sometimes.
Lucia: Do you ever feel sorry for anyone?
Rojye: Yeah.
Lucia: When?
Rojye: Well, think of this: the pity you can feel for someone is quite easy to summon. True empathy is understanding the person's situations.
Lucia: In other words, you don't pity people. You just understand what they're going through?
Rojye: That's it.
Lucia: How do you feel about Lee's line "not good enough"?
Rojye: Lee is obviously quite depressed, and being second place all of her life is something that will forever haunt her. It is therefore up to her friends and companions to keep her from feeling second-best.
Lucia: How come you're never this wise in regular life.
Rojye: How come no one is?
Lucia: That doesn't answer my question.
Rojye: Who do you think I am? Doctor Phil?
LinneaKou: Occasionally.
Rojye: Who asked you?
Lucia: And he was on a roll.
How Political Correctness is ruining the world
Ben: Lee, why did you have to be magical?
Lee: *rolls eyes* Why did you have to be Flat?
Ben: The politically-correct term is "Non-Magical Person".
Lee: What, you're being politically correct?
Ben: I think I deserve it.
Lee: Ben, if you were faced with a Black person, or a Latino, you'd call them just that - even if they demanded the politically correct terms.
Ben: There are politically correct terms for Blacks and Latinos?
Lee: You fail at life, Ben. You just fail.
Author's message: This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just making fun of Ben's ignorance. I try to be respectful to all peoples because we are all humans of similar DNA structures that identify us as primates from the same source and in reality we're ALL descendants from bacteria so don't act all supreme on me. Thank you.
LEE'S FAMILY RETURNS! w00t!
Lee's Mom: Lee, I think you should pursue a relationship with Ben.
Lee: Why? I don't like him like that.
Lee's Mom: But Lee, he's rich. He'll be able to take care of you when you're married.
Lee: I'm an independent woman!
Lee's Mom: And he'll be able to take care of US when you're married.
Lee: FREELOADER! *storms off into woods*
Andie: Mom, that was overkill. Personally, I like Lord Lucia.
Darryl: Can Rojye really make fire come out of his hands?
Lee's Dad: I find Talika a fascinating kid.
Sara: Do ANY of you have an idea of how annoying it is for your family to push you into a relationship?
Lee's Mom: What, did your mom do that?
Sara: She tried, but I ended up slapping the guy so hard that he had to go to the ER.
Lee's Family: ...
Lee's Mom: Maybe Lee ought to come home with us... (to get away from all of this bad influence...)
LinneaKou as All-Mighty Director: NONONONONO! THIS FIC IS CALLED "MAJISCHULE", NOT "LEE'S HOMELIFE"!
Lee's Mom: Don't use that tone with me, young lady!
LinneaKou: *cowering* Okay, ma'am.
Sara: Pathetic.
LinneaKou: You'd be scared of maternal figures if yours had spanked you as a child!
Sara: Poor you.
LinneaKou: *muttering* Note to self... change best-friend role...
Sara: HEY!
Lee's Mom: How about Mary*?
LinneaKou: ... Maybe...
Sara: NO WAY!
LinneaKou: I'll take it into consideration.
Sara: YOU'RE JUST LIKE LEE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
*Mary is one of Lee's friends from Chamka. Mary is from a very strict Catholic family, and despite their friendship constantly tries to evangelize and convert Lee to Catholicism. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but Mary is a bit TOO Orthodox. What's worse, Lee's mom LOVES her.
And finally...
Teh Most Frequently Asked Question:
*cheesy fade to a talk show like Oprah*
Talk Show Host: And we're here with the writer and creator of "Majischule", LinneaKou!
LinneaKou: *waves*
TSH: Tell us, Linnea: where do you get your inspiration for the main character, Lee?
LinneaKou: Well, that's a hard question to answer.
TSH: Is it true that one of the main factors is actually yourself?
LinneaKou: At times, yes. But Lee's got a more psycho web of friendships and family than me.
Lee: *sitting in other chair* But didn't you once say that most of my relationships were based off of yours?
LinneaKou: Loosely.
Lee: And didn't you say after my first angst-session that that was how you felt at your lowest?
LinneaKou: What teenager doesn't? *starts to sweat*
Lee: And didn't you say that your mom sometimes tries to hook you up with a guy that you're friends with but have NO DESIRE to be his girlfriend?
LinneaKou: Uh... I plead the fifth.
TSH: In other words, yes?
Lee: NO! I'M JUST A LINNEACLONE!! WAAAAAAAAH!
TSH: We'll be right back.
*fade out*
*****************************************
And that does it for my first pathetic attempt at an omake. I'll probably get better as the characters develop.
*Lee: I don't understand why I'm such a spazz.
Character talk hour is closed, girl.
*Lee: I SHALL NOT BE SILENCED!
*rolls eyes* *cough*LinneaClone*cough*
*Lee: *goes into fetal position* nooooooooooo.......
I'm tired. PEACE YAWL!!!
This post has been edited by LinneaKou: Jun 1 2008, 1:03 AM
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Jun 1 2008, 4:53 AM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
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(My response to "Do Spells Work??") Mizuki: *looking over a number of manga volumes of works by Go Nagai* Soma/Minako: *pokes up over Mizuki's back* Mizuki: ... Yes? Minako: Watcha' doin? Mizuki: *turns* Going through various books on Japanese history and manga so I can find good names for attacks. Soma: I thought you just pulled names out of thin air. Mizuki: Of course I don't! Time and time again, I have made references to the works of the great Go Nagai throughout Matei Mizuki! Makai Himiko: reference to the villain for the first half of Kotetsu Jeeg! Makai Invader: reference to the aliens from Getter Robo Armageddon! Makai Ashura: a nod towards Dr. Hell's second-in-command from Mazinger Z! Shouting out "Schneider go!": a nod towards Kouji's shouting out of "Mazin go!" whenever he activated Mazinger Z! Minako: Wow... Mizuki: And if you think *that's* bad, you don't want to see how much research Horoki does! She thinks she's the Magic Girl version of Sanger Zonvolt!I always like it when a story has a sense of humor about itself... and I actually have a very unique standard when I do omake myself: they must be canon to the story. It makes them funnier, and you can do call-backs to them later on. Anyways, this was good for a laugh.
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Jun 8 2008, 3:10 AM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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I'M BACK! With many things! First, the chapter! -I apologize for not updating yesterday when I could have except I couldn't have because my stupid internet was down again so SORRY GOMEN NASAI LO SIENTO ect. I WILL MAKE UP FOR IT WITH MUCH UPDATING!- *ahem* Majischul Book 1: Banvutu'u Majischul! Chapter 8: When No One Listens Created 2008 by LinneaKou Studios LTD. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Who could blame me? I had another nightmare. Within the few seconds I'd drawn a breath to launch into another bout of shrieks, Shiia was beside my bed, pushing my head back down onto the pillow, and soothing me with a gentle voice. "Shh... shh... It's all right... you're safe..." I could not be calmed. "It--he's--they're--where--?" I kept seeing the shadows coming alive. Winged things would lunge at me with razor-sharp teeth bared. And dark laughter would mock me as I ran. Sleep did not come well that night. Why was I having nightmares? This I wanted to understand. You see, I had conquered some of my fears. That was big. I'd single-handedly fought off a whole horde of demons a bare eight hours ago! That was HUGE. And yet I was as jumpy as a cat at a dog show. Any noise set me off. Anyone knocking at the door would find me crouched behind a chair with something pointy in my hand. And the nightmares just kept coming!! By midnight I'd had enough. I woke somehow without screaming and looked over to Shiia. Good. She'd fallen asleep. I picked up a book I'd put off reading, grabbed a BookLite, and curled up under the covers. I'd always loved sneaking books to bed. Something about doing "against-the-rules" stuff after dark made it exciting. And this book was one that my mother absolutely hated and forbade me from reading. Of course, I went out the next day and bought the paperback. The Da Vinci Code. Something about a normal, non-magickal chase around Paris with guns and fast cars just appealed to me right then. And I was in the mood for something that had nothing to do with magick. I sighed and picked up where I'd left off. Soon, I was in a zoned-out mode that was nice for chasing away dark fears and scary thoughts. Eventually, my phone beeped. Quickly, before Shiia could stir, I grabbed it and flipped it open. A message popped onto the screen accompanied by a number I didn't recognize. "Hey, Lee." Another message: "It's Lucia." Lucia?? He had a cell phone?? I tapped a message back. "Hey, r u OK?" "Yeah, fine." came back. "Just a broken nose. Fixed me up fine." "Good. U gonna b @ skool 2moro?" "Of course." "What do we do?" "LOL don't worry about it." I hesitated, then decided to ask: "OK where did u get my #?" "Your sister." Oh! That stinker! She knew, she knew! "Also, u have a phone??" "Yes." Well. Okay. "Tell me 2moro." "It IS tomorrow." I looked at the clock and - golly be! - it was indeed. "Alrighty then c u in class.  " "See you." I closed my phone with a smile and a warm feeling. Maybe the aftermath wouldn't be so bad after all. Looking back, I spoke too soon. I got up late, wolfed down another meager breakfast, and had to rush to class with Mister Hister who called on me a lot during class as "punishment". He even asked me to be his guinea pig for a transformation spell, which made me sink into my knees behind my desk. I'm sure my face was crimson by the end of that class. I made it through Potions and Charms without much incident, and then my break came. So you can see that my morning was not going well all ready. Then, she had to show up. Karanita. She wasn't really a thorn in my side then, but more like a woodchip in my shoe. Until that day. "Well, if it isn't the Earthling." I ignored her and went on with what I was doing - which was, incidentally, my homework for the next class. Ms. Lightbringer had put out a notice that homework and projects that hadn't been done the previous day were to no penalty, but I still felt better doing it to be prepared. A shadow fell over my book as I tried to study, and I looked up. "G'morning, ladies," I said, a little bewildered: there was quite a crowd gathered in front of me. And they were staring dagger at me. Creeeeeppppyyyyy... "Uh... is there anything I can help you with?" Karanita crossed her arms and took a defensive stance. She snorted. "Like you did during the attack last night?" Had it gotten out that quickly? "You must think you're SOOOO special because you have a Megumi form." "Uh, no, not really..." HOW had it gotten out so quickly?? "Oh, don't be modest," said another Class One Fatina. She sneered at me. "Honestly, with all the extra attention the teachers have been giving you, I'm not surprised that you turned out this way." Okay, what the HELL are they talking about? "First you waltz in here and take an improper spot in the Class One," said another girl, counting it off on her chubby fingers. "Then, you go and steal Lord Lucia away from the ones who are QUALIFIED to be with him; then you go and put our own students at risk during a rogue daemon attack! What makes you think you can go against the rules?" "There are rules regarding a daemon attack?" This was news for me. Actually, if it seems like I'm keeping my cool, bear to mind that during this little exchange, I'm shrinking back further and further. "Don't go off thinking that just because you have a Megumi form, you're better than the REAL Magick Users here," Karanita said harshly. "Keep in mind what your real place is here. You're just a glorified Earthling. Get over yourself!" "But I'm not--" "We are here to deliver a message: STAY AWAY FROM LORD LUCIA." They all glared at me even harder, which made me want to pee my pants... er, skirt. "You're a Class One Fatina, but you have no right to Lord Lucia. You're just an Earthling - what could Lord Lucia possibly see in you?" Karanita looked a little annoyed. "And remember who you are here: nobody. No one cares about how special you are. In a few years, you'll just be another Earthling." By now, I was curled up on the stone seat with the textbook covering my face like a shield. "Uh, how do you all know about the whole Megumi thing?" "Some Primary school girl was blabbing about it," said one of the taller girls in the back. "Wouldn't shut up." Ah. Solana. Great. "Uhm... well, rest assured that I won't step out of line! Not even a toe!" I was squeaking now, and those stares were really scaring me. "But I can't say the same thing for others...!" They all sniffed at me as if to say "who in their right mind would associate with you?" and wandered off. I relaxed and blinked in utter confusion. Petty girl wars. Hm. Sounds familiar. I hadn't really left high school. "Lee!" I heard the voice I'd been looking forward to hearing all morning and winced. Great. The Lucia-fans are going to kill me for that! Lucia noticed how my shoulders had gone up and how I'd tensed at his call. "Uh, Lee? Did I do something...?" "What? Oh, no. Nothing. Just... late. Gotta go... Heh. Yeah." I picked up speed and left him standing on the path, confused. What? No, that wasn't the sound of my hopes dying. I didn't have hopes. Why would I have hopes? I hate my life. I got a visit from a fan later on that day. And when I say fan, I mean a fan of my own. "Lìnnia-douchi? May I come in?" Shiia and I exchanged surprised glances and I opened the door to see the little girl from the night before standing there, looking very sheepish. Looking at the floor, she held out an elaborate basket. "Th-thank you for rescuing me last night. For Shiia-douchi, too--" she added hastily, seeing Shiia was there with me. "I express my deepest gratitude for keeping me safe during the attack." "Uh..." I was seriously taken aback. "Well, hon, there aren't really any thanks necessary..." The little girl looked up at me with these huge violet eyes, and I sighed. I'm a sucker for puppy eyes. "Come in, hon." She perked up almost instantly and hopped into our dorm. With wide eyes, she took it in. "Wowwwww!!" "Uh, it's just a dormitory," Shiia said, raising her eyebrows in amusement. I rolled my own eyes at her. "Yup. No big deal." "What beautiful pictures!" Solana ran over to the wall where I'd put up watercolors done by my friend Karin back at Chamka. "Um, yeah, a friend of mine did that." "Earth people are so diversely talented!" Solana exclaimed, looking intently at each watercolor painting. "In the Othrworlde--" "There are many different arts there, too," Shiia added. "Oh, yes, but they grow so boring after they are all you see." Solana now moved onto the anime posters over my bed. She hopped up onto my bunk and giggled. "These renderings look so funny!" "That's a cartoon style," I explained, feeling awkward. "It's very popular, especially in Japan." "Japan? Where's that?" Solana was bouncing on my bed now. "It's over an ocean, that way." I pointed West. "Wowwwwww!!" I watched her jump higher and higher and whistled. "Soon you'll be flying, too, right?" "Lee, flying instructions don't happen until Secondary Schooling," Shiia explained. "Most children don't grow into their wings until they've reached a certain age." "Ah, like puberty." "What?" "...nevermind." Solana giggled and bounced higher. "I want to fly! I want to fly on Megumi wings!" Shiia closed her eyes and smiled tiredly. "Those are very rare." "Lìnnia-douchi has them," Solana pointed at me to prove a point. I shrugged. "And they've been giving me trouble ever since." "No, you had them forever!" Solana insisted, her voice wobbling with every bounce. "Everyone does. And they're yours only. No one can take them from you. They're special." Shiia tilted her head as if recalling something fond. "I remember that story..." "What story?" I asked, sitting down cross-legged on the ground where my homework had fallen. "Oh, just a bedtime story that most parents tell their children." Shiia sat down on her own bed and laid back. "It's a story of how each Uthra person got their wings." "When the gods were still around, they saw how each Uthra person walked on the ground instead of flying like them.
'Why do you stay earthbound instead of perching in the sky?' they would ask.
And the people answered, 'We cannot as you can, Brother Gods.'
So the gods went to all of the animal peoples and asked each in turn to give them spare wings so that the Uthra people could fly like them. The gods themselves had the Fenix wings, so they went to the bats and insects and other things and asked very politely.
But the Animal people said, 'We will not allow the Uthra people to fly unless they promise to live in harmony with all things, including each other.'
The gods went back to the Uthra people, and the Uthra agreed to live in harmony with all living things. Then, the animals gave their wings to the Uthra people, and the Uthra people were thus able to fly."I blinked. "Wow, that was nice of them..." Shiia shook her head. "Until the attack by Bodache, all Uthra people had visible wings. When the Demons revolted, the sacred pact that the Uthra people had made with the Animal people was broken. But the Totem spirits saw how the Uthra people weren't responsible for one group's actions, and they allowed them to have their wings in their second forms - the forms that were the reflection of their true selves." Both Othrworlders stared at me, and I shifted nervously. "That makes sense..." "Maybe one of the Fenixes gave you his wings!" Solana said excitedly. "That makes you like a Sister Goddess!" "I doubt it, but--" "It is quite an interesting concept, isn't it?" Shiia asked, smiling. I nodded. "I guess so." There was a smart rap on our door, and Shiia opened it to reveal Jiselle. The tall woman crossed her arms and gave a stern look to Solana. "I think you've stayed long enough, miss." Solana sighed and jumped off of my bed. She gave a curtsy and didn't look me in the eye. I smiled and squatted down so I was even with her face. I lifted her chin so she had to make eye contact with me. "Feel free to come back whenever you want, and I'll tell you some stories from Earth, okay?" Solana squealed in joy and threw her arms around me. "THANK YOU! Thank you thank you thank you!" Jiselle and Shiia watched amusedly as Solana bowed again to both Shiia and me, then ran out the door. "That girl is a dynamic one," I said, standing. Jiselle gave a bark of laughter. "She's a handful. Well, I'll leave you two to your studies." And she closed the door. I looked at Shiia again. "Is it true that the animals gave the Othrworlders their wings?" Shiia shrugged. "It's just a faerie tale." "Right..." Just a faerie tale. Majischul Book 1: Banvutu'u Majischul! Epilogue The Dark Lord slowly drew his hands out of the Seeing Pool and clenched his fists. "So, my old nemesis has decided to return and wage war against me yet again?"
"The Side of the Light is already amassing for war," said the pale-haired woman, bowing. "The Runes speak of an army of gods."
"Impossible. They're all gone."
"Milord, with the reincarnation of Ilianou and the breaking of the Wall of the Worlds, anything can become reality."
"Is it a war they want?" the Dark Lord slammed his hand onto the Stone-Casting table, causing the runes to jump. "They will get a war. Oh, yes, indeed."***************************************** Aaaaand that ends the first book! Keep in mind that I'm writing this like a manga series, and most manga series have seven to eight books with eight or nine chapters each (unless it's "Inu-Yasha","Ranma 1/2", or "Bleach". Then it can go on FOREVER) And finally, as promised... PICTURES! ...can be seen in my gallery AND in my signature. Did you notice? Anyway, go here http://magixclub.com/forums/index.php?auto...um&album=52 for some of my illustrations for this story. 'Till next time!
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Jun 8 2008, 4:23 AM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
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Yes, Inu-Yasha just keeps going on, and nothing EVER gets accomplished in it. How many times has Naraku cheated death now, I ask you? TOO MANY!
Mizuki: *points at Lee* And shame on you for not putting those brats in their places! With great power comes the great responsiblity to abuse that power!
Horoki: You're getting that wrong, Mizuki. It's- *gets dragged away by Mana*
Mana: Do not anger Mizuki... for she has the Dai Makai... and it hurts... and you do not have accelerated healing.
Anyways, Lee returns to the wonderful world of jealous girls who deserve to die but never will in this story... and I hope she does not start acting like Mizuki and punch people in public. She also has a ylittle girl to worry about now as an over-enthusiastic sidekick... who I hope will steer clear of acting like Scrappy-Doo, although this hasn't been too much of a problem again.
And lastly, the little story was very interesting. It'll be amusing to see all the different versions of the wings that show up.
And more kudos for using the correct Latin spelling of Phoenix.
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Jun 8 2008, 5:54 PM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
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Indeed, birds do rock. Or "Roc"... if you know about that. Of course, my love of kirins and snakes goes contrary to the two most overused animals in fiction: phoenixes and dragons. They're cool, but used too much. Of course... when you make their users total badasses, like Shiryu's cool and calculating nature and Ikki's utterly antisocial psychotic/torturous behavior in Saint Seiya, you don't mind. Anyways, when I was talking about Scrappy, I meant that she doesn't get so absurdly annoying for us to read we want to strangle her. Or even worse... she ends up like Lyn from Hokuto no Ken . Nevertheless, you should be fine keeping her away from it, and provided the characters in the story act sufficiently frustrated with her zany antics and try to fix the problem, she won't enter into the land of Scrappyness.
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Jun 15 2008, 3:35 AM
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Harmonix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 287
Joined: April 14 2007
From: under a rock
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TEH NEXT BOOK! YEY!
Let me tell you, I've been doing a planning session for the ages! I have all the basics of the story mapped out. Let's see how it progresses!
Majischul Book 2: Dueling Fenix
Chapter 1: The Lady's Challenge
Created 2008 by LinneaKou Studios LTD.
I watched carefully as Rojye and Lucia sparred again. And again I saw what was coming before it came.
Lucia hooked Rojye's foot out from underneath him just as Rojye went in for the pressure-point attack.
In about two seconds, both Fatine were felled.
I giggled and rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Again, utterly predictable!"
"I didn't ask the peanut gallery for comments!" Rojye snapped.
Lucia didn't move. I think Rojye's attack paralyzed him. We heard a strange groaning noise, muffled by the dirt.
"Oh, someone fix him," Shiia giggled.
I hopped over the barrier and jabbed Lucia in the fleshy part of his side. He shot to his feet, yelping.
"Quick and effective," I said.
"That was unpleasant," Lucia commented.
I reached out a hand and he took it, and together we pulled him to his feet.
"Hey! What about me?" Rojye yelped.
"Get up yourself," Sara suggested. "You didn't sustain a pressure-point attack."
Rojye glared at her. "I really don't like you," he growled.
"Grow up," I sniggered, and hopped back over the barrier.
Lucia shot me a smile and I felt my cheeks heat up again.
It was good to be back.
Barely a week ago, I'd gained some (unpleasant) attention due to a daemonic attack on my school. After the whole shock thing had died down, a bunch of jealous teenage students targeted me for being defended by Lord Lucia, the resident celebrity. He sustained a broken nose trying to keep me safe.
Once he asserted that it was all his fault and he insisted that his "fanclub" abstain from tailing him to keep me away - which eventually took the equivalent of a restraining order from his aunt - we were allowed to be seen together again. Which was nice, because I really enjoyed bantering with him. That, and he'd promised that he'd teach me to duel.
Oh joy.
Well, at least I got to observe his constant rematches with Rojye. And yet each time they ended up in a draw.
It was good entertainment. Almost as good as watching the fanclub simmer half a football field away. I almost felt smug.
Oh, Buddha, forgive me.
This time, however, I was somewhat justified. They had been making life a nightmare for me. I mean, wouldn't anyone be annoyed if they were suddenly surrounded by annoying girls after leaving a class that happened to contain the object of affection? I had WAY too many classes with Lucia, and they zoomed in like a freaking typhoon to whisk both me and Lucia away, separated, to make sure I didn't monopolize his attention. They also constantly made me late to class, often forcing me to escape by flying into the trees. I had too many prickly encounters to keep sane.
Thankfully, Lucia grew sick of it.
I turned by back to the steaming fanclub and settled myself on the bench again, watching the two rivals spar yet again.
"I wonder if this year, we'll finally have a champion," Shiia commented.
Talika made a noise and rolled his eyes. "They both keep getting better, but they always draw even."
"This could be a long tournament." Sara deadpanned.
I merely watched as the two of them downed the other at the exact same time AGAIN.
Salima sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder why they even spar before the matches."
"To keep from making fools of themselves, I suppose," I mused.
Solana bounced into the seat next to me. "Lee-douchi!"
"Hullo Solana." I gave her a half-attention affectionate pat on the head and observed Lucia's retaliation to Rojye's "Hands of Flame". We all winced as Rojye skidded on his backside, probably leaving some nasty skid-burns.
"They are at it again?" Solana asked.
I nodded.
"They will not give up," she declared, crossing her arms. "This is funny!"
"Which explains why we're here." Sara said. She leaned back and pointed her toes. "This is better than cable!"
"Or satellite," I agreed.
"Or subspace streaming," Talika added.
"Who cares?" Shiia broke in. "It's live."
FWUSHHHH!
"Ooh, that had to hurt!"
"Who wants to go resuscitate them?"
A sigh. "What an absolute WASTE of time."
"Cheap entertainment."
"I should have brought popcorn."
The next day, as we all headed out for breakfast - I persuaded everyone to get up early so we could eat with Sara, and Solana insisted on coming along - Salima stopped and pointed. "Hey, look!"
We all looked.
A fancy-looking poster was tacked to the front hall message board, and half of it was in Uthra and the other half in English. We all read our respective languages.
"ATTENTION ALL DUELERS!
SIGN UP FOR THE UPCOMING TOURNAMENT
GOLDEN SABRE DIVISION
WINNER WILL BE CROWNED CHAMPION OF ALL REALM DUELING
TERRA MAJISCHUL VERSUS UTRHA AKEDMJE VERSUS UTHRA IESKATME
CHAMPIONS WILL BE NAMED FOR EACH SCHOOL
CHAMPIONS WILL BE DECIDED AFTER WINNING EACH DUEL WITHIN SCHOOL
SIGN UP WITH HEADMISTRESS"
I read the poster with my eyebrows raised. "Has Majischul ever had a champion?"
"Nope. Our best candidates keep knocking each other out." Shiia giggled.
I snickered, and Rojye and Lucia both glared at me.
"Hey, hey, it's all love here. Now, let's go get some eats."
Sara shuffled her Tarot cards and spread them on the table, picking out seven. She arranged them in a circle and turned over one. Her eyebrows went up. "Lee, you might want to listen."
I looked up from my oatmeal and blinked. "Hn?"
"This card means you." She handed me the Tarot. I turned it over and blinked. "The Sun?"
"Yeah. I always pull that card whenever it involves you."
"Hm."
Sara turned over another card. "Danger," she said.
"Great."
She moved on. "Power," she added.
"Okay."
"And this one means competition."
"Uh-huh."
"Here's the card for victory, if it has anything to do with the competition."
"Sure."
"Skill," she added, flipping another.
I went back to my oatmeal. "Okay."
"And this one means soon." She looked at her spread and made a face. "If I didn't know better, I'd say my cards were trying to get you to enter this dueling contest."
I didn't know the first thing about Tarot, but I instantly assumed Sara was making a joke. So I snorted. "HA! Oh, that's a good one, Stare-ah. You might just give me indigestion."
"I'm serious!" Sara protested. "I'm not kidding; that's what the cards are saying!"
"Okay, fine. Read them again."
Sara grabbed the cards and reshuffled. She did the spread again and turned over each card.
Even I could tell that they were all the same.
"You did that on purpose!"
"I swear I didn't!" Sara said defiantly. She handed the cards to Talika, who, confused, shuffled them again.
"Pull seven," Sara instructed.
Talika obliged.
"Put them in a circle. In any way."
Talika put down a spread.
Sara turned each one over.
Same again.
My eyes were bulging now. I sputtered something, then quickly rose, pushed my bowl away, and dashed out of the mess hall.
"LEE, WAIT!" I heard Sara yell.
I didn't stop. I just kept running.
I would NOT enter the competition. I'd just be asking for disaster.
It was suicide.
I looked up at the sky and made a face. "Someone up there had better explain themselves," I growled.
The sun shone innocently, which made me think of the Sun card.
I made a little moan and collapsed onto the grassy ground. "This makes no sense!" I grouched. "First that hex, then those daemons show up, and now a deck of cards expects me to enter a competition where I have no skill, no talent, and no experience? WHOSE SICK JOKE IS THIS??"
No one answered, and some bird chirped off in the distance.
I sighed and checked my watch.
Fifteen minutes to class time. I dully wondered if Harr Dursk would mind if I showed up to P.E. early.
Well, time to find out.
It's said that there are no accidents, and that everything that happens to us is predestined.
Well, if it's true, it sucks.
I was headed to the gymnasium building when someone stepped out of the treeline and cut into my path.
I stopped.
It was Karanita.
I skidded to a halt and groaned. Jeez, could today get off to a better start? "What do you want, Karanita?"
"I want to duel you."
I froze. No. Freaking. Way. "Right now?" I squeaked.
Karanita snorted. "No, you fool, not right now. In the tournament."
"I can't duel."
"What, are you too afraid?" she taunted.
Wasn't going to work. "I'm not afraid. I just don't have a clue on how to duel. So I'll plead the fifth or whatever." I was starting to back away now.
Karanita glowered at me. "Learn how," she snarled. "I want a match with you!"
"Well, I'm afraid you'll be sorely disappointed." I said, turning away.
Suddenly a rope made of energy snapped around my neck, and I gasped and grabbed at it.
Karanita snickered nastily. "You have no choice."
She yanked me back, and I fell to the ground, struggling to breathe.
I was getting mad again.
She kicked me in the side, making me squeal in pain.
"Get up, Earthling!"
Get this stupid noose off my neck and I'll do more than that!!!
"Get up! You're not worthy to be in Class One. You're not worthy to have the attentions of Lord Lucia. You're not worthy to even be living."
Did she really want to provoke me?
I was mad now. As in, time to go HULK!
I SCREAMED. The rope snapped. I shot to my feet and decked her.
She threw up an energy guard, protecting her precious face, and I mimicked her attack somehow and instead threw the noose around her ankles. Then I tightened it, tying her legs together. I leaped into the air and threw the rope over a branch above, looped it around, and pulled it.
Karanita shot into the air, upside-down, and screaming. I threw the end of the rope into the ground, bonding it with the grounded energy already in existence. And I watched as Karanita swung from side to side, screaming her lungs out.
"YOU ROTTEN LITTLE SNAKE! YOU DIRTY HUMAN! STUPID FLAT! LET ME DOWN!"
I watched some more, grinning. "Don't get me angry," I warned her, crossing my arms. "I'll take you up on your petty duel. And I'll beat you, too."
"YOU STINKING *****!!" (Content edited for language!)
I tutted. "Naughty naughty!" I called cheerfully. "You'll just have to hang in time-out until you learn a lesson!"
And I walked away.
(Mizuki would have been proud of me.)
Then, it occurred to me that if Karanita went to the authorities to tell on me, I could get into some deep crap.
I sighed and snapped my fingers, making the rope dissolve and allowing Karanita to drop to the ground.
Stupid conscience.
At least she landed on her face.
We worked out a deal. I wouldn't tell on her, she wouldn't tell on me. We'd settle this like civilized people in a duel.
Next week.
First round of the tournament.
Oh crap!
During P.E. Harr Dursk, the freaky *perverted* satyr professor, decided to have a class entirely for dueling. I immediately found my friends and explained my dilemma.
Shiia gasped when I got to the part about my retaliation to Karanita, but the others burst into laughter. Especially Rojye.
"Oh, man, I wish I could have seen her face!" he snorted.
"So we came to an agreement," I added urgently. "We're going to settle this in round one of the duels!"
Everyone fell silent and stared at me.
"What?? It seemed like the only option."
"You're at a standstill," Salima admitted, looking worried. "But, Lee... you don't know HOW to duel!"
"TEACH ME!" I begged. "I have to whip that nasty little brat on her butt!"
Lucia looked at me and nodded. "We'll start today. Harr Dursk will let us."
"Let's do it!" Shiia said, nodding determinedly.
Later on, after a grueling day of studies and dueling practices - which I sucked at, majorly - I collapsed into bed and glanced at the pile of homework sitting on my bedside table. "Ohhh," I moaned.
Shiia looked at me and shrugged. "You kind of brought this upon yourself."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I could've run to Jiselle and tattled on Karanita. But I was so pissed!"
Shiia sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Revenge isn't always the answer."
"At least I didn't leave her hanging," I reminded her.
She smiled. "True."
"Hey, I didn't think you'd be so gung-ho to help me with dueling. I thought you hated it."
Shiia looked at me sadly. "I do. Because it ruined my father's life."
I froze. "Oh, geez. I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"It's not your fault," Shiia laughed. "My father was one of the greatest duelers in our village. But one day, an out-of-town opponent came and defeated him."
"That's why you're so anti-violence?" I asked. I figured it caused her father to become a recluse, shying away from the world because his pride was shattered.
"But he didn't settle for just winning. He also destroyed my father's dominant hand, crippling him. Then, he severed my father's wings."
I gasped. "That... that--" I swore here, saying many bad, nasty things.
Shiia's gaze was hollow. "I saw the entire thing. I watched every duel my father fought. I used to love it because my father was a noble Fatine. He always was a good sport. He never was prideful. He never pushed his opponents to the brink of survival. He always knew when to back off. But..."
I sat down next to her, and she threw her arms around me and cried, sobbing openly. "Lee, don't let Karanita hurt you! She'd do to you just what the foreigner did to my father. She would, I know!"
"Shiia," I said, dead serious. "I promise you, I will not lose to Karanita. I'll practice until I know how to defeat her. And I'll win. For you guys."
She looked up at me with red eyes. "Lee, win for yourself."
And I agreed, making a vow that would ring in my head whenever I thought about giving up; whenever I felt too tired to go on; whenever I was sore enough to die.
I was NOT going to lose to Karanita. And I was going to prove them all wrong.
I was.
*****************************************
Now we're seeing some action!
Hehe, this book, as I've probably said before, will mostly be about dueling. The tournament will most likely continue throughout the rest of the book, and probably into the next one. Still working on the timeline.
The whole noose-revenge scene was inspired by Matei Mizuki's infamous "Shove Asuka into the closet" scene. Of course, Lee has a louder conscience than Mizuki, so... yeah.
Anyway, I planned on making Karanita more of a problem only recently. Karanita was supposed to be a relatively minor character, but that didn't end up happening, did it? Hehehe, this is going to be fun.
*Lee: I will enjoy this.
Karanita represents all of the repressive female forces in my life that made my existence a living nightmare during school. You can assume that I'll be abusing her a lot.
*Solana: *munches popcorn* More noose scenes!
If the duel goes well (Lee's not exactly an expert at dueling, remember?) Lee might just get a chance to tie Karanita to a tree again. Ah well. I'd better get some more planning done.
I'll most likely be posting a finished picture soon, so keep checking back. THIS one's colored!
*Lee: It looks flappin' AWESOME!
Toodles, minna!
This post has been edited by LinneaKou: Jun 15 2008, 5:08 PM
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Jun 15 2008, 4:56 AM
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Cosmix Fairy
Group: Members
Posts: 3,850
Joined: September 7 2007
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Mizuki: YES! Let the hatred flow through you! Direct all your anger and frustrations towards this woman, and shatter her will to live!!!!
Minako: @_@... Mizuki, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but she's not like you. I don't think she can cope with the stress with taking another life.
Mizuki: *blushes* But... uh... yeah... don't actually kill her or anything... yeah. Just break her down to nothingness and see what her base components are. Yeah... the "core"... whole Zen philosophy going on. That was my whole plan from the get-go.
Asuka: Peh. Your closet was cramped, dark, and I had just regained some semblance of myself. I wouldn't say you do these things out of compassion, Wondergirl.
I saw what was coming and realized what you were doing and who you were catering to. I even went back and reread that scene, the time between then and now giving me the ability to truly marvel at it. And the nice thing is now you have a female character who genuinely has a sound reason to hate Lee, and you can delve into that kind of relationship that -while adversarial-, does not enter the "Mean Girls" nor the "Mortal Enemies" territory.
Overall, I liked this chapter a lot. Between the humor of the fight between Lucia and Rojye, a little more information about Shiia, and t3h-evilness, it was a nice change of pace. See, this is why I dislike writing too much angst; rather than have the protagonists as victims, they MAKE victims. It's so deliciously cruel and subverts the old tradition.
Besides, like I said before, you have another character who may or may not end up becoming a Lancer to Lee. And let's face it, nobody hates a well-made Lancer. Everything about them can be great, but you can hate the Hero, or the Big Guy, or the Smart Guy, or the Chick. But if the Lancer's played right, they're downright irrisitable.
Mizuki: You're giving this girl more compassion than she deserves.
Asuka: Not necessarily. She didn't have four friends who were ancient embodiments of a cyclic existence, now does she? Besides, doesn't this technically equate to wish-fulfillment, something you despise?
Mizuki: *grumbles*
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