My Entry For The Fanfic Competition, Angel Chix and the dark angels Options

[Anime Princess]

Chapter one
Joanna’s magnificent transformation


It was a nice sunny day in Innisfail as always, when Joanna was walking home from school all alone as usual as all her friends had ditched her for other things. As Joanna walked she looked around at the empty streets of this little country town there was never really anything to do she really wished that something would happen to make people actually notice her as more then the boring girl she was.

“Hey Jo where’s your loser friends ohhhh did they ditch you again? Did they get some Better friends” came a voice from behind Joanna as she turned around to see Melisa the leader of the popular group at Innisfail high. “Buzz off Melinda” said Joanna turning around and looking at Melinda.


“What you going to do fight me?” replied Melinda “no just leave me alone ok I don’t need you picking on me at the moment” said Joanna turning to leave when suddenly there was a big boom and a pink light surrounded Joanna and a little pink charm bracelet appeared on her wrist. Meanwhile Melinda had walked away getting board with teasing Joanna and she heard the boom too and suddenly a black light surrounded her and a black charm bracelet appeared on her wrist.

Joanna looked around wondering if anyone else had noticed the strange pink light, however their was no one near her so she just continued on her way home thinking that she was just seeing things and as she walked she was blissfully unaware of the black cat with the pink crescent moon on her forehead following her. “Mum dad I’m home” said Joanna walking in the front door after taking her shoes off. Joanna walked into the kitchen to get herself a drink and as she did she saw a note on the fridge:

Dear Jo
We had to go up to Cairns for a very important business meeting we wont be home
Until next week there is food is the freezer all you have to do is heat it up, so be good and we’ll see you when we get home

Lots of love mum and dad

“Great another business trip” sighed Joanna putting the note down and walking up to her room. “They never have any time for me anymore” sighed Joanna laying down on her bed and thinking about how much fun she used to have with her parents but now all she had to look forward to was the few times she’d get to go with them on their business trips.

‘So this is the pink moon angel chick’ thought the cat jumping through the window and looking at the girl sleeping on the bed in front of her and suddenly the pink crescent moon on her forehead began to glow “oh no Emma has located the first of the dark angels” said the cat to herself before nudging the sleeping Joanna “no Onya o don’t want to go shopping I’m too tired” mumbled Joanna rolling over and putting her arm over the cat and pulling her into a hug “Joanna, I am not Onya this is important you are the pink moon angel chick and you must stop Emma from locating the dark angels” said the cat and upon realising she would have no luck stuck out one of her claws and ran it across Joanna’s arm.

“Ouch that hurt” cried Joanna rubbing her arm before looking at the cat “awww such a pretty kitty” said Joanna petting it “Joanna this is not the time for fun and games you must stop Emma” said the cat “huh did you just talk” said Joanna looking at the cat “yes I did now listen to me my name is Ella I am your guardian and you must help me locate the rest of the angel chix and stop the evil witch Emma from locating all the dark angels” said the cat “how am I meant to do that” replied Joanna.
“Simple see that pink bracelet hold your hand over it and yell “pink moon crystal power” replied Ella “um ok then” replied Joanna before yelling “pink moon crystal power” and she transformed into the pink moon angel chick.

“What the” yelled Joanna looking at herself as her outfit had changed to a pink halter neck top and mini skirt she was now wearing pink heeled boots and pink gloves and as she looked over her shoulder she saw she had pink crescent moon wings. “Okay this is strange I think I might lie back down this is just a dream” said Joanna.

“This is not a dream now pull yourself together we have a dark angel to find and stop Emma from getting her” said Ella keeping her claws ready just in case “okay say this isn’t a dream how am I meant to stop her I mean do I have powers or something” said Joanna and Ella just sighed “you will know what to do when the time comes now come on we have to find this dark angel before she realises her powers” said Ella and her and Joanna ran outside to look for this dark angel.

[MorriganAensland]

Well, the conventional magic girl concepts have sprung up, and I've seen your love of the color pink come up again. However, neither of those are necessarily bad things. Punctuation is a bit iffy, I can help with that if you don't have time yourself.

Anyways, I'm really thankful people decided to give this a shot. ^_^

[P-girl]

I agree with Morrigan, you seem to have gone for something more traditional. And that's not a bad thing, really, like Morrigan said before, we each have our own style, and it's fun to compare them. You indeed have some punctuation and grammar problems.... but I'm also offering my help (Or to be totally honest: that of my grammar checker.) for that.

[Anime Princess]

thanx guys ^_^ yea grammer and punctuation (and spelling to tell the truth as you might have noticed in some of my posts) have never realy been a strong point of mine i'd gladly acept any help you may be able to give me ^_^ this story i actualy wrote a few years ago but due to my first computer kinda going under 6 foot of water i lost it so i'm rewriting it from my memory and the drawings i drew of the charactors ^_^ (i'll post the drawings although they kinda suck)

[P-girl]

Cool, you've got drawings to? (Not that I drew mine myself..... to be honest.)

[Anime Princess]

yep i was board so i decided to draw my charactors

[P-girl]

I myself got quite a few 'Rip-off' characters. Which frankly are characters with the looks (And sometimes name, but I'm trying to prevent that) of existing characters (From games and anime), which I gave a new background/story. You think that's okay?

[Anime Princess]

well if you change their background and maybe edit them a bit its cool ^_^

[MorriganAensland]

I myself got quite a few 'Rip-off' characters. Which frankly are characters with the looks (And sometimes name, but I'm trying to prevent that) of existing characters (From games and anime), which I gave a new background/story. You think that's okay?

Rip-off characters are nothing wrong. Horoki, Asuka, and Mana are all based off their Evangelion counterparts, and Soma, Mina, Yoko, and Camilla were all inspired by characters from Castlevania. Mizuki's the same, inspired by one of my favorite fighting-game bosses ever creates, Mizuki Rashojin from Samurai Showdown... and her fighting style will be stuffed with references to Mazinger, Morrigan and Lilith from Darkstalkers, and Nico Robin from One Piece.

There's always going to be recurring themes in stories, not really cliches, but just good elements that people use. They all have to come from somewhere. If you have a trio of characters, it's only natural to have them play the roles of Id, Ego, and Superego... and if they're female, they'll probably have some supernatural element to them. The Trix're just one of many, many trios like that. If you have a protagonist, one of the supporting characters will be their "Lancer". They make for good plotlines, but we have to find them from somewhere.

[StellaRocks]

oh sissy i love it

[Anime Princess]

and heres chapter 2

Melinda the black moon angel

“Ella how are we going to find this dark angel?” asked Joanna as they ran through the streets of east Innisfail.

“Trust me; you’ll know,” replied Ella and as she said that Joanna’s crescent moon necklace started to glow. As she looked around she noticed the street was Melinda’s and then she saw her a girl who looked exactly like her except her hair and outfit were black.

“Melinda!” gasped Joanna realizing the girl she was staring at was her worst enemy at school the all round Miss Popular.

“Joanna snap out of it now!” said Ella, running her claw across Joanna’s knee just hard enough to bring Joanna back to reality.

“Huh? You say something?” said Joanna kneeling down beside Ella.

“Yes that is one of the dark angels and it appears she’s discovered her powers. You need to stop her now before Emma discovers her!” said Ella looking over at Melinda and suddenly a fierce wind surrounded them. Ella was lucky enough to get out of the way however Joanna was caught in the wind.

“Jo!” yelled Ella “use the pink moon scepter!”

“The what?!?” replied Joanna starting to get dizzy.

“The scepter! Summon your scepter from your pendent!”

Joanna carefully unclasped her crescent moon pendent and yelled “Powers of the Pink Moon come to my aid: Pink Moon Scepter Release!” and suddenly the pendent turned into a pink scepter.

Joanna looked at the scepter completely unsure of what to do. She was just about to ask Ella for help when a little voice in her head to say the words “Pink Moon Power Release”. As she said this, a pink light came from the scepter eliminating the wind and she began to fall. However, she quickly worked out how to use her wings in time and she managed to touch down to the ground safely.

“Ella now what do I do?” asked Joanna

“Point the scepter towards the dark angel and said ‘Pink Moon Crystal Healing’ and it should turn her back to normal!” replied Ella. Before Joanna could activate the crystal, however, half a dozen monsters appeared blocking her way to Melinda.

Meanwhile, from the shadows a figure watched her, ready to help but still waiting for something.

“Ella what do I do now?!?” yelled Joanna and suddenly her scepter started to flash.

“Use the scepter!!!”

Joanna raised it above her head and began to spin while flying up a little. “Pink Moon Scepter Surprise!” Joanna announced, stopping the spin and pointing her scepter at the monsters. In a flash of pink light about half of them disappeared “Ok take two,” said Joanna quietly to herself “Pink Moon Scepter Elimination” yelled Joanna and in another flash of pink light the rest of the monsters disappeared.

“So you want to turn me back” remarked dark angel sound exactly like Melinda. A flash of black light later, she stood in front of Joanna. She looked similar, but with a dark glow around her. “You won’t stop me… I’m not just a dark angel! I’m the Dark Moon Angel and I shall be your downfall” Melinda spoke before disappearing in a flash of black light, leaving Joanna to just look on in shock.

“Ella… what did she mean the Black Moon Angel? Just how many of us are there?” asked Joanna.

“I’ll explain once we get back to the house. It is not safe to talk here,” replied Ella sensing another presence.

“Ok then. Just let me go back to normal,” replied Joanna looking around and making sure no one else was around before transforming back into her normal purple halter neck top, mini-skirt, and boots and her hair returned to short and blond instead of long and pink.

As Ella and Joanna walked back to Joanna’s relatively-close house, Joanna was starting to tire, but she couldn’t help but look back a few times. “What’s up, Jo?” said Ella noticing Joanna had stopped.

“I cant shake this feeling we’re being followed,” replied Joanna.

“It’s probably just a bird. Come on… we should get you home,” said Ella and they kept walking.

“Hey Ella… I don’t know how keen my parents will be on me having a cat, so you’ll probably have to stay outside when the get back next week.” Joanna spoke up as she opened the door and went inside.

“No problem I don’t mind,” replied Ella as Joanna closed the door and walked up to her bedroom.

“How about we talk later? I need some sleep.” Joanna fell down in her bed and almost immediately falling asleep.
_
BUZZ…. BUZZ…BUZZ…

“Good morning Innisfail! It’s a nice sunny 30 degrees outside the perfect weather for-” came from the radio before Joanna pressed the snooze button “just a few minutes more” mumbled Joanna

[StellaRocks]

loveing it loveing it

[Anime Princess]

oh yea if your wondering why its set in innisfai it's the town i was in when i wrote the first one which i lost in a storm which almost destroyed the town and funnily enough joannas house is actualy based on the house i live in when i was nine ^_^ just thought i'd metion that

[P-girl]

I like it, and as I said before, it's traditional. But that's good, I like traditional.

[Anime Princess]

Blue Star Angel Chic to the rescue

Buzz…buzz…buzz came the radio alarm clock again.

“Fine I’m up,” mumbled Joanna emerging from beneath the covers and looking around. Jumping up and remembering her parents were gone for the week, she then ran downstairs.

“Good morning Joanna,” came a voice from the bottom of the stairs and Joanna almost jumped tripping over and falling down the last five steps.

“Ouch… that hurt,” grumbled Joanna standing back up.

Ella walked over to Joanna. “Sorry I didn’t mean to give you such a scare,” said Ella looking up at Joanna

“It’s ok. Just tomorrow… give me a few moments to wake up first,” replied Joanna. Yawning, she walked over to the fridge and taking out a pitcher of water and poured it into a glass.

After Joanna finished getting ready she walked out the door and sat down on the front porch and put her shoes on. “I’ll see you this afternoon Jo," said Ella. Joanna just smiled before crossing the road and waited for the school bus.

As she was waiting, a girl stepped out of the house across from her own and then walked to the bus stop. “Hi I’m Jessy. Are you waiting to catch the bus for Innisfail high?” asked the girl

“Yes,” replied Joanna smiling then she held her hand out. “I’m Joanna,” she quickly added.

“Pleased to meet you this is my first day at Innisfail high I just moved here from Bundaberg,” said Jessy quietly trying to make conversation.

“Cool. I’ve lived here my whole life, but it’s a nice quiet town. I’m sure you’ll like it here,” replied Joanna as the bus stopped in front of them and they got on. “Would you like to sit with me?” asked Joanna as she paid the bus driver

“Sure thanks,” replied Jessy and her and Joanna sat up the back and talked all the way to school.
_
“So what do you have first?” asked Jessy as they got off the bus.

“Well we have home room then I have home economics,” replied Joanna as she pulled out her schedule.

“Hey I have the same class. Which room are you in?” asked Jessy.

“Room 5 in c block,” answered Joanna.

“Hey same we’re in the same class!” exclaimed Jessy.

“Cool,” replied Joanna then she asked, “Where’s your home room?” as they reached the library.

“Room 505 in p block,” replied Jessy.

“Great, you’re in my homeroom too,” said Joanna before leading Jessy to p block. “You can out your bag there,” said Joanna. She gestured to the port racks before they went inside.
_
At lunchtime Joanna and Jessy went across to the shop and suddenly Joanna’s charm bracelet started to glow “Hey Jo what’s with your bracelet?” asked Jessy.

Joanna looked down at her bracelet. Not now… “Umm Jessy, don’t freak out…” said Joanna and she held her hand over her bracelet and yelled “Pink Moon Crystal Power!” and she transformed into the Pink Moon Angel Chic. “Jessy, stay here,” said Joanna and Jessy just nodded and watched as Joanna ran around the corner.

Unfortunately, she then heard a scream from behind. Oh no… She immediately ran back, seeing Jessy in the grips of one of the monsters from before.

“Let her go!” yelled Joanna.

The monster simply looked at Joanna before answering. “Such a shame… this girl is so pretty,” One of it’s arms slowly shifted, turning into a blade.

“No!” yelled Jessy realizing what the monster was about to do. A blue light surrounded her, though, and a strong wind blew the monster back and a blue star charm bracelet appeared on her arm. Copying Joanna’s previous actions, she acted on impulse. “Blue star power!” yelled Jessy and she transformed into the Blue Star Angel Chic.

“W-wow…” gasped Jessy looking at her blue outfit and now long blue hair.

“So I was right. We did discover the next Angel Chic,” said Melinda appearing in front of them.

“What’s it to you?” demanded Jessy looking at her.

“Simple. I have to destroy you, before you destroy me,” replied Melinda and suddenly a strong wind blew towards them.

“I… hate to tell you this… honey,” Jessy grunted as she stood up to the gust. “…but wind doesn’t work against me!” She flew up into the air, again acting on instict. “Wind blast!” yelled Jessy, spinning and creating a strong squall that sent Melinda flying backwards before suddenly she disappeared.

“Does she always… flee so quickly?” asked Jessy as landing beside Joanna. Before Joanna could answer, Jessy transformed back to normal and suddenly fainted. Joanna quickly caught her, surprised how easy it was to hold her.

Still transformed flew back to her house, calling out to her cat when she got there. “Ella!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” said Ella running over.

“I’ll explain later, but do you think you might be able to do something to cover for me and Jessy at school?” asked Joanna. Ella just nodded and left the room.

Joanna carefully laid Jessy down on her bed and shifted back to normal clothing before collapsing on the floor. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

[SolarfireWinx]

Cool concept, I'm enjoying seeing the influences from different shows and anime in there. ^^

[Anime Princess]

Chapter four
The mysterious masked protector

“Jo,” said Jessy softly, nudging Joanna’s arm as she lie asleep on the floor.

“No not now mummy I just want to sleep,” mumbled Joanna pushing Jessy away.

“Joanna its Jessy. Wake up, I need to ask you something,” said Jessy, nudging Joanna’s arm again.

“Huh what time is it?” muttered Joanna waking up yawning as she sat up.

“Two AM,” replied Jessy. “How did I get here? … And… um… my mothers going to have a fit when she finds out I stayed at a friend’s house without permission.”

“Don’t worry my cat’s got it covered we’ll talk more in the morning,” yawned Joanna before laying back down on the floor and falling back to sleep.

“Ok…” said Jessy, softly yawning. She then went back to sleep, however it wasn’t long before she woke back up. “What do you mean ‘your cat’?!?” exclaimed Jessy.

Ella just jumped up on the end of the bed, and immediately answered. “Yes, her cat” Jessy just looked at her before fainting backwards.

---------

“That’s it! Suck their energy, draw out those pathetic Angel Chix!” laughed Melissa from a rooftop. The same monsters she used against both Joanna and Jessy were with her, absorbing the energy out of the civilians below. “There is no better way to bring in the weekend then a nice little soul draining spree… is there?”.

---------

“Jo, you and Jessy have to get up now! Melissa is attacking again!” yelled Ella, waking the two girls up.

“Wha…?” replied Jessy as she got up, suddenly realizing that the cat was speaking again. “Hey Jo… your cat talks, right?”

“Yes, she did… but I’ll explain later,” replied Jo standing up and Jessy did the same. “Anyways, you remember yesterday?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok we have to do that again,” replied Joanna before holding her arm out in front of her and yelling “Pink Moon Crystal Power!”

“Blue Star Crystal Power!”

One transformation later, Jessy was again one of the Angel Chix, following Joanna’s lead. “I got to admit this will take a bit to get used to” said Jessy as her and Joanna flew over to where the sensed Melissa.

--- -- ---
Hearing those two brats touch down behind her, Melissa could only smirk as she turned around. “Wow… about time you got here. I thought I might have had to find more victims,” giggled Melissa.

“Well, we’re here now so you can just leave these people alone,” replied Joanna angrily.

“Now why would I do that,” smirked Melissa, summoning a gale-force wind which nearly caused Joanna to fly backwards.

“Jessy, you think you can counter it?!?” yelled Joanna over the wind and Jessy just nodded.

“Blue Star Wind Storm!” yelled Jessy and an equal wind to Melissa’s blew from her hands, the opposing gusts canceling each other out.

“Hmm so you can call strong winds too, I guess its time to turn it up a notch,” scoffed Melissa. The monsters from before suddenly burst out from underneath the roof, trapping both Joanna and in some kind of string that had begun to drain their energy.

“Oh no…” gasped Ella upon realization that there was no way for the girls to use their powers to escape.

--- -- ---

Adam was walking home from visiting his little sister in hospital when suddenly he got a sever headache. Wincing in pain, he could only grunt “Not now…” Looking around, he quickly dashed into a nearby ally way.

Who came out, however, was entirely different. Gone were the black shirt and jeans, and in their place was a black mask, tuxedo, and cape.
--- -- ---

Ella looked around trying to sense if there was another undiscovered angel chic in the area. It was unlikely, but she couldn’t think of any other possible way to save Jessy and Jo. Unfortunately, there wasn’t even the slightest hint of one…

But she could sense someone else with strong powers nearby, and a dark figure with blonde hair suddenly appeared on the rooftop. Without saying anything he pointed his finger at the string binding the girls, and in a sudden flash of light, the strands vanished.

And now… he thought as he turned, For- But he stopped… seeing that Melissa had vanished. Turning back to the two girls, he walked over to them. “Are you girls ok?”

Joanna didn’t reply she just stood there staring at him she didn’t even notice he asked her a question until Ella scratched her, “Uh sorry, what was that?”

“I said, are you girls alright?” said the guy again.

I… I think so,” replied Joanna.

“I’m fine, thank you,” said Jessy smiling.

“Good,” said the guy before turning to walk away.

“Wait, who are you?” yelled Joanna. The mystery man, however, kept on walking and was soon gone, leaving Jo to simply stand there in confusion.

“…Come on we should get you girls home. You’ll probably need some rest,” said Ella. Joanna and Jessy just nodded, they were starting to get tired so they went back to Joanna’s house.

As soon as they got back to Joanna’s Jessy took out her cell phone and rang her mum.

--- -- ---

Ring Ring Ring

“I’ll get it!” yelled Jessy little sister, Reianna running to the phone. Her mother picked it up before she could get to it “No fair… you never let me answer it,” yelled Reianna, her mother simply patting her on her head.

“Reianna, you’re too young to answer the phone. When you get older I’ll let you,” Jessy’s mum Sandy answered. “Hello?” said Jessy’s mum, Sandy.

“Hey mum? My friend Joanna and I are going to have a girls night out,” said Jessy.

“…Ok I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t forget the family picnic at midday,” replied Sandy

“Don’t worry mum I won’t. Love you” said Jessy.

“Love you too. You girls have fun.”

[Anime Princess]

well now its been a long time and i nearly lost this but here you have it the next chapter please comment

Chapter Five: Mysterious Meetings

Joanna and Jessy fell asleep fairly easily, as they were both rather exhausted. Ella curled up at the bottom of the bed. While the girls where sleeping a loud thump came from outside the house. Joanna sat bolt upright, knocking Ella off the edge of the bed
“Jo what’s wrong?” asked Ella standing up.
“I just heard someone outside” replied Joanna.
“Go back to sleep, I’ll check it out,” replied Ella.
Joanna went back to sleep. Meanwhile, Ella jumped out of the open window and began to search for the source of the sound.
“Who’s there?” asked Ella, her paws making a pattering sound on the ground. As she said this, a person who seemed to resemble an angel with long, red hair and fire-like wings jumped down from the roof, landing in front of Ella.
“Quiet, someone might hear you,” said the mysterious angel.
Joanna sat up again. She could have sworn she just heard voices coming from outside. So, quietly but slowly, she got out of bed, put on her dressing gown, grabbed a torch and went downstairs. Meanwhile, outside, the mysterious angel looked at Ella.
“I sensed a strong power around here... and I don’t mean the two angel chicks. Be on your guard, the princess is near,” said the angel before flying back up to the roof and running along the rooftops.
“Did you find anything?” Joanna asked Ella, coming outside.
“No, must have just been a neighbor's cat,” replied Ella. Then, she added, “Come on, let's go back to bed.” With that, Joanna and Ella went back inside.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

“Good morning, Innisfail! It’s 7 AM and a sunny 25 degrees. Perfect weather for enjoying a nice lazy day by the beach, but remember to slip slop slap…”
Joanna rolled over hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep. Meanwhile, downstairs, the door Was wide open as one of the dark demoni snuck in, heading towards Joanna’s room. Ella sat up; she could sense the dark demoni.
“Joanna, wake up! We have company,” hissed Ella in Joanna's ear,waking her up.
“What is it...?” said Joanna sleepily.
“There’s a dark demoni on the other side of the door,” replied Ella. Joanna nodded before waking Jessy. “Jessy, there’s a dark demoni on the other side of the door,” said Joanna as Jessy woke up.
Without further ado, they transformed. Just in time too, as a moment later the dark demoni burst into the room. However, as it did, the mysterious red angel flew in through the window.
“Draw it outside,” said the mysterious red angel. Joanna nodded, flying up into the air, followed by Jessy. They flew out of the window, the mysterious red angel also flew out and the dark demoni followed. However, as it reached the window, it stopped, as it didn’t have wings. Although, a growl of pain later, a pair of black, bat-like wings forced themselves out of his back and it flew after the girls who landed in the parking lot of a nearby abandoned warehouse.
Before the dark demoni landed Jessy flew over it, hovering just out of his reach.
“Blue star tornado!” said Jessy, as she summoned a tornado, blowing the dark demoni to the ground.
“Fire storm!” yelled the red angel and a ring of fire surrounded the dark demoni.
“Moon dust blast!” yelled Joanna and as the dust combined with the fire the dark demoni disappeared it a flash of darkness.
“Well done angels,” said the red angel smiling turning to leave.
“Wait, who are you?” said Joanna.
“I’m the fire angel, guardian of the Red Star. You’ll find out the rest when you need to, just remember to watch your back. The Dark Star angel knows your true identity and will do anything to get rid of you,” said the fire angel, before flying off.

[MorriganAensland]

*throws confetti*

Yay, you started updating again. This's great!

Anyways, we got another Angel introduced... although I'm assuming this is the "Mysterious male protector" character. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I do hope, however, you make a point about the monsters knowing where the heroines live and how they'll have to be on the move now or go into hiding. Otherwise it raises the question about the bad guys not dropping a bomb on their house.

^_^ Aren't I a stinker?

[Anime Princess]

aya morri your amazing you just gave me the title of my next chapter merci