Jokes ! Just for laugh..., Post funny jokes you know ! Rating Options

[humbu111]

[Another Morning]

XD I love the Russian jokes, Dark Side! And everyone else's are good, too.

Okay, this one is painfully lame and everyone has probably heard it already, but its lameness is what makes it endearing XD

Why couldn't the little kid get into the pirate movie?

Because it was rated ARRRRRR

[Tom273]

lol the Russian jokes are awesome made me laugh again, and everyone elses jokes are funny too

Captain Falcon jokes:


Captain Falcon can beat any video game without the game disc, or system.

There once was a new street it was named Captain Falcon dr. Every one who crossed it died. Why? No one crosses Captain Falcon.

Captain Falcon is never late if he is time better slow the @#$& down.

Captain Falcon doesnt wait for time time waits for Captain Falcon.

Jesus walked on water. Captain Falcon swims through land.

Captain Falcon appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a Falcon Punch. When asked bout this “glitch,” Captain Falcon replied, “That’s no glitch.”

Since the year Captain Falcon was born, Falcon Punch related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Captain Falcon.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Captain Falcon.

[Dark_Side_Master]

lolz^^
here is another ones (reminding you, its my transleation, so there is not everything understandable)
......
Boy asking his father:
-Dad, where is my turtle?
-There it is, craking nuts with my friends
..........
After an exam, student comes home. His parents asking him:
-How was it!? did you pass!?
-I think yes, they even want me repeat it next year.
...........
-Dad, we have a reduced parent meeteng tomorrow.
-What means-reduced?
-Just me, you and a headmaster
.......
-Dad, i shall never go riding sledge with you again!
-Do not stir and pull the sledge, you idiot!

[Tom273]

lol that's funny =P

more captain falcon stuff

If you want a list of Captain Falcon’s enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Captain Falcon is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you

Captain Falcon is like a period; he’s the end to everything.

And some other jokes

How many emo's does it take to change a light blub?
None! They all sit in the dark crying

A cop pulls a young guy over:
"Hello officer" said the smart aleck kid.
"Young man did you see that stop sign?" asked the cop.
Yup, but I didn't see you!

This post has been edited by Tom273: Apr 14 2009, 5:27 PM

[humbu111]

[winxtecna]

Those are funny!! I've got one, but it's not that great.

Two guys are washing windows on a skyscraper. One guy falls off and the other guy takes out his cellphone and says "Operator, give me the number for 911!!"

I thought that was FUNNY!!!

[Tom273]

lolz!

[humbu111]

[Tom273]

Computer Joke
Is Windows a Virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

[humbu111]

[Winx4eva!]

Hm...here is one.

A brunette, a red head and a blonde are going to jump off a building, who are going to hit the floor first?

The brunette and red head. The blonde asked for directions halfway.

[Tom273]

lol! funny

my turn:

Swallowed Money

Bob to X-ray technician after swallowing some money:

“Do you see any change in me?”

[humbu111]

[Tom273]

more jokes:

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant if they had any dogs going cheap?
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."


My brother is now with the F.B.I. They finally tracked him down...


It's true that children brighten up a home.
They never turn off the lights!


Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the ark hives!


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

[humbu111]

[Tom273]

---3 Jokes---



"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?" asked the father of his little son.
"Diet."



'Grandad, do you know how to croak?'
I don't think so, Steven, why?"
'Because Dad says he'll be rich when you do.'



There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A State Trooper pulls it over. "What have I done wrong, officer?" the driver asks.
"You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that," the officer says to the driver. "You must go at least 50mph."
"But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!" the driver replies.
"HA HA HA!" The officer laughs out loud. "That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"
The driver leans back in her car seat and the cop sees another woman sitting beside her. She looked as pale as a ghost.
"What happened to her?" the officer asks.
"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160."

[Stellaksjuta]

.

This post has been edited by Stellaksjuta: Nov 23 2013, 12:15 PM

[Tom273]

lol nice ones

my turn: A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.
The police officer pointed somberly towards the sky.
"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"



Motorist: 'But, officer, I was speeding because I'm late for an appointment with my lawyer.'
Policeman: 'Well, now you've got something else to tell him.'

[humbu111]