Jokes ! Just for laugh..., Post funny jokes you know ! Rating Options

[humbu111]

[Tom273]

Why did the Skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with him.



*dies laughing*

[humbu111]

[Tom273]

Your mums so fat when I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

ROFL!

[Another Morning]

XD Nice ones

Okay this one is kinda lame, but I like it anyways.

A piece of string wants to go into a nightclub. Once he reaches the doors, though, the bouncer stops him and says "We don't allow string in this club."

Disappointed, the string wanders off, but then he gets and idea. He ties himself in a knot and messes up his hair really bad, then goes back to the club.

The bouncer said, "Hey, aren't you that same piece of string I kicked out earlier?"

The string said, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."


You might have to say the last part out loud to get it.

[humbu111]

This post has been edited by humbu111: Apr 11 2009, 9:53 PM

[Dark_Side_Master]

lol^^
i'll try some russian humour)

Ones allianes kidnapped a group of americans. Americans gave some burgers to allians. It was tasty, but not everyone got one, so allians killd americans.
Next year allians kidnapped a group of asians. Asians gave some crude fish to allians. It was tasty, but not everyone got one, so allians killd asians.
Next year allians kidnapped a group of russians. Russians gave allians punches. It wasn't tasty, but everyone got one.

[humbu111]

This post has been edited by humbu111: Apr 12 2009, 4:53 PM

[Dark_Side_Master]

I didn't really understand the humor in the last part but oh well lol

well, that's why it called russian humor, not understandable for others, i think^^ i better just hear for others

[AnnieBelle]

xD the return of the burning duck joke.

Oh, oh, I got one!

An American, a Russian, and an Italian are all sitting together, discussing what they each feel is the greatest thing in the world.
"Birth," the American says. "That after nine months, life can be created. That is the greatest thing in the world."
"Da," says the Russian. "But I think the greatest thing is the stars. We are seeing things that no longer exist. That is how bright they are, even from so far away."
"Those are both great," the Italian agreed, "but I think the greatest thing is the Thermos."
The American and the Russian were surprised. "A Thermos?"
"Well," the Italian said, "When you put something hot inside, it stays hot, and when you put something cold inside, it stays cold."
"I mean," he laughed, "How does it know?"

{...I laughed. Note: I was told this joke BY AN ITALIAN. FROM ITALY. If she was able to laugh, y'all should too. ^^}

[Tom273]

lol^^
i'll try some russian humour)

LOL your jokes are funny! Russian humor rules

and also AM,humbu and AD your jokes are also awesome ^^

my joke:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

[humbu111]

[humbu111]

[mightymarty2]

To explain russia is famous for the KGB (dodgy gangsters)

these were on the wall in physics

Einstines theory of boybands

E=MCfly

Einstines theory of fast food

E=MCdonalds

there were others i cannot remember (well it was about a year ago)

[humbu111]

[mightymarty2]

it used to be a band in england named MCFly (which was rubbish in my opinion) here is a link to a song of theres

McFly

[humbu111]

This post has been edited by humbu111: Apr 13 2009, 4:42 PM

[Tom273]

lol not bad

[Dark_Side_Master]

LOL your jokes are funny! Russian humor rules

thanks^^ i'll try another one then.


Second day in an army, new recruits are standing in a line. Colonel asking the first man he sees: Sokolov, what "Homeland" means for you?
-Sir, i don't know.
-Remember then, homeland is the mother of yours. Nikulin, what "homeland" means for YOU?
-Sir, for me, homeland is the mother of Sokolov.
.......................
Warbase is waiting for the arrivel of the general. All around cleaning and painting. One soldier have sent to paint a rocket. It almost has painted all, but he can't get up to the top. Thinks: how to be? Has thought up! Takes a bucket of a paint, swings the arm and throws it on top of a rocket. The rocket all is painted. But the bucket it is still hanging on a nose of a rocket.
The general bypasses a base: so, well, a grass green, the fence is painted too.
-What the hell is that thing? - he asks the commander of a part.
-It is the mine-reflector, general! - the commander has not become puzzled.
-I know what it is! Why it is not painted?
...............
i tried to transleat as good as possible, but it's all i can^^

This post has been edited by Dark_Side_Master: Apr 13 2009, 5:22 PM

[humbu111]