I'm So Confused Options

[Abby]

So I'm still dealing with this whole issue on who I'm friends with. There is this one girl megan at my school, we got close kinda through marching band, but she gets on my nerves sometimes on how she brags but overall she is an ok person. We started getting close and I didn't like it so we got in this huge fight and now we are friends, but its weird. And I'm always so sad and depressed for no reason all the time, and then she gets sad and it seems like she always is now and I don't know what to do because no matter what I say to her she always eventually goes back to saying how everything is crappy. (sorry for the language here but this is necessary to explain the situation) and I mean I don't know what to do? Should I be friends with her? I mean it feels like she always needs some attention on her so she says shes depressed. And there are these other girls who I thought I was friends with, but they always seem like they would rather be with each other and megan is kinda friends with one of them, and sometimes I feel left out. I just hate how I'm the one depressed her, and megan seems to turn it around so she is the one who is but she has her friends at singing angels (a choir group shes in). I feel bad for myself because shes into singing, and I have been since I was little and I'm an ok singer, I just don't do the the choir things and she wants to be a singer and all, but I feel its been my dream since I was really little and that if I go ahead with my dream, that its just not fair. I'm so confused on what to do and how to deal with her. Does anyone have any advice? Sorry this is so long..

[Boo]

It sounds like because she's always sad, she's making you feel sad. That's not really a good influence. It's not good to have friends that put you down, that's not what friends do. This is just my judgement, but she sounds like a person who wants a friend that will only be her friend and nobody else's. What I suggest is to continue to be nice to her, but try to hang around other people a little. Spend less time with her gradually, don't just abruptly leave. Once you start hanging around other people (hopefully people who are more happy often then not), maybe she'll get the picture. Plus, maybe a nicer group of friends will make you feel happier. Friends that put other friends down aren't friends at all. Another thing you might want to try, it may or may not work, is tell her exactly how you feel. Sometimes it helps to get a problem out in the open, it might make it easier for you to deal with.

[Abby]

thanks for the advice boo. I mean sometimes its great having her as a friend, other times she makes me feel bad because she brags about stuff. The only thing is that the other people I would hang around with seem to use me as a "backup" friend as well. They are closer to each other than to me, but I don't know, I just hope that summer comes, and maybe some of these bad relationships will fade away, or even second semester because our schedules change then.

[Boo]

Thats true (schedule changes).
It's better just to try to make new friends then to have one that makes you feel bad. It might take awhile to get used to new friends, but it's worth it if they're nice to you and respect you, trust me.

Maybe if some of the friends you have give you the impression that you're a 'back-up' friend, you should try to hang out or talk with them more. After awhile, I'm sure they'll see you more as somebody they really would like to be good friends with rather then a back up for when they get mad at their current friends.

[esca Eterna]

(a little late... sorry ^^)I agree with Boo on two things: Telling Megan how you feel, and trying to get closer with your other friends who see you as 'back-up'.
If you don't appreciate her bragging, tell her. Tell her that you do value her friendship (that right?), but you're worried about her/your depression. She shouldn't be making you depressed, as a friend. Sometimes people just do that for attention; but if something's wrong with her, as a friend you should try to help. And as far as the needing attention thing goes for her, I think you should tell her that you are her friend (right?) and you're there for her. Try to support her, and maybe the depression will go away. If you tell her that her sadness spreads to you, don't say that you want to leave her because of that, as a friend you might support her, that is, if you still want to be friends with her. Your friendship is special; those who you give it to should value it, and you should value others'.
So for the singing thing, I actually know exactly what you mean. Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure how to handle it in my world. But for your situation which is a little different, I think you should take voice lessons or something, and maybe, if you want to, ask Megan to go with you, then it can be something you share, as well as not look like you're trying to steal her dream (which I know you're not). Or, you can explain to her that you've wanted to be a singer too, but you care about her thus you don't want to steal her dream. Maybe, singing can became something you share together, and maybe you could build your friendship that way.
So for the other friends, using you as backup isn't exactly the best thing a friend can do. So Maybe getting closer to them is one option, but is there anyone else who can be your friend? Maybe try going for that, too. If not, the refer to option 1 (^^).
Hope I helped, really. Good luck
♥

[Abby]

thanks for all the advice everyone, I truly appreciate it! I am going to try and fix my problems once school resumes then!

[esca Eterna]

I'm glad we could help, anytime you need it ^^ and good luck!
♥