Printable Version of Topic

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 13 2009, 6:43 PM

I was recently talking to somebody, apparently they are down and always depressed so i tried to give them some useful advice, but they didnt want to hear it. This person rather have other people pity them and tell him things that would only make him feel better about himself, rather then telling him the truth. To my knowledge this person claims to always be bored and doesnt do anything about it. They dont go to school, they dont go to work they basically really dont do anything, but mope and complain. But when i told them that the world isnt nice and that he should try to achieve some of his goals and make something out of his life regardless of what his condition is, he got made and left. He mainly got mad at the fact that i was telling him the truth, instead of babying him up like everybody else does.

Now am i wrong for telling him the truth of how the world really is, and that he should be making the best out of a bad situation instead of looking for peoples pity?

Or just babyed them up like everybody else is doing just to give him temporary satisfaction.

Posted by: Hanna Dec 13 2009, 6:57 PM

looks like we aren't going to become friends.... but i still like you terri don't worry ^^

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 13 2009, 7:02 PM

You didnt have to reply on this subject...
I never included your name soo...

Friends? I'm good on friends. "_"

Posted by: rano0oma Dec 13 2009, 7:04 PM

well i think you didn't do anything wrong actually it's the best thing to tell to that person...

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 13 2009, 7:05 PM

Thank you rano, i thought it was the best thing as well

Posted by: P-girl Dec 13 2009, 7:38 PM

I wholeheartedly agree. I admit I don't act like this in (sometimes irrational) fear of hurting people, but I also believe that, in order to lead a happy life, you should do something about it instead of waiting it out or expecting others to do it for you. I'm all for supporting people, but there's support and there's babying.

I hope that didn't sound to harsh, Hanna.

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 13 2009, 10:57 PM

I really didnt want to use Hanna's name
But, i see it like this you want people to join your "Support Group" but when they give you feedback that you dont wanna hear you shut down. I was just being honest and telling the truth, because you cant mope around and trying to have other feel sorry for you, because it gets you no where.

*Wow me and pgirl agree on something*

I agree with your whole statement pgirl, well said

Posted by: Hanna Dec 14 2009, 1:31 AM

im just gonna ignore this as it's best for my mental health and yes of course we can be friends and by the way my support group is for people who want to know how my life is going and other things not ''babying'' by the way and i can assure you im doing all i can to be happier with my life if in doubt you can ask my therapist or psychiatrist.

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 14 2009, 2:13 AM

Why do you keep saying we can be friends like im asking you for your friendship? Which im not.


Then Technically its not a "Support Group" if your only giving updates, that sounds like twitter.


Ok, if you say so

Posted by: Zydron Dec 14 2009, 9:13 AM

In my opinion the best thing to get happy in live, is something to life for. (I'm not talking people, but a persenal goal).
You want to achive it, to do that, you go to school for your education, and learn many other things to achive it.

If you do nothing, you can possible get bored and depressed, and that sometimes turn out in committing suicide!

Well I have my goal a couple of months, but I was going to school (not that my grades are well, they were terrible )
Now that I know what I want to do in my life, it is also going better at school (ICT class pre-university/MBO in Dutch), because I want it!

and something else, your goal must allways be unachiveble, not to much offcourse, it must take sometime,
because if it is achiveble right away, you must find an another goal.

Posted by: mightymarty2 Dec 14 2009, 9:59 AM

Firstly
Some people like others help and need others help to get through problems
Some like to be alone and work through problems
Then everyone else is somewhere in between

Secondly
I cannot comment on the conversation as I did not see it but it depends on how you put your opinions accross

Thirdly
If you knew this was something that caused problems why bring it up. If you kept your opinion to yourself there would have been no problems.

The third part I meant no offence but I felt it had to be said

Posted by: terriordx32 Dec 14 2009, 4:03 PM

Marty your whole post made no sense.

Secondly
Nobody ask you to comment on anything

Thirdly
???? what are you talking about lol

Posted by: Jahnavi Dec 14 2009, 5:05 PM

'Kay, hope no one minds me randomly popping in here, but I just wanted to put in my two-cents'-worth...

Whether we're talking about a small problem or a more serious one, and whether we're talking about Hanna or anyone else, getting through a rough situation isn't easy for anyone. I agree with Terri on this count: when you're down, the thing that counts is being able to dust yourself off and get on with life. You shouldn't let your worries slow you down, whether they're big or small, because things only get better once you focus more on the positive things in life.
However, none of us can fully understand a situation unless we're the ones experiencing it. And maybe some people do need a little extra help. Then we should support them as much as possible, without babying them, because people need that when they're going through a tough time. And, at the beginning, support is the only thing that will help them get back on track.

So, sorry for the mini-rant, just wanted to say that.

Posted by: Winx4eva! Dec 23 2009, 7:00 PM

Hope you don't me adding either...if we are talking about Hanna...

I actually agree of what Jah stated, you can't really tell or understand how it is for a person unless you are expriencing it. Like - My twin brother, infact, is also diagnosed with Asperges and he definately has a hard time - so do I. Mainly, many people are blinded and don't respect my brother, he was once punched in the eye and was slapped across the face for being different. And the list goes on. It really does get annoying, even if I see it with my own eyes. They treat him like rubbish. He doesn't at all act his age and gets low marks. And yes, my brother is babyed and gets most of the attention. So what? He needs it more than me. He needs the support and occasional babying, he needs me to stand up to the others and tell them to 'lay off'. It's hard for them to do it on their own and achieve control of their emotions and body. Extremly hard. It's basically 50% + harder for them. It takes alot of time and disipline, not to mention self-control. It's a hard thing to live with, and I'm sure Hanna will be able to achieve anything that comes to desire... It requires a lot of strength.

Posted by: W.I.N.X Dec 24 2009, 3:49 AM

This Mish. Well said.

I personally don't think that it's babying. It is a serious issue, and not just a twitter talking about small misfortunes that happen in life. I do agree when things happen you should get up and keepgoing, but in this case, I'd say it'd be damned hard just to get up and keep going. We can't understand how others may be feeling with big issues in their lives, but this is obviously something people may not feel comfortable telling people they know personally straight up(which is a lot harder. I've found telling people stuff online is easier, because you can't see them), so they like to get that support from online friends.

Posted by: Hanna Dec 24 2009, 8:20 PM

Mishie-mish and Kate thanks for the kind words ^_^