In Need Of Advice Options

[Natasha]

I just got into another fight with one of the friends.
This weekend we had planned on going downtown to shop.
I originally planned for just the two of us to go shopping, so she decided that it would be better to go
shopping in a group. I said a group was okay, if we only brought about 2 other people with us.
She said she planned on inviting 10 people.
Er bad idea, we were planning on taking the train since we live kinda far from downtown.
I disagreed with the idea and she got mad. Then she says
"Um, my mom doesn't even want me to go, and I don't think people's parents will want them to go the mall unsupervised"
That was a huge lie right there,
Her mom is begging her to learn more about chicago and learn how to get around by herself on the train.
And second, she went off the beach by herself with her friends unsupervised behind her mom's back.
Third, we go to the mall all the time with no adults around. Trust me I love to have an adult with me when I go shopping too
but I think it's time for her to learn how to grow up. I just responded and said
"People take the train all the time, it's not dangerous I know my way downtown and back"
she snapped at me with an cold comment and said
"Wow, like everyone's parents want them following you around. You barely know where your going"
I felt insulted. I tried to change the subject but she won't let it go.
Rude comments from her followed after that, I said
"Just forget it" and logged off of gmail.
Advice please? Anything that doesn't involve me apologizing to her.

[Abby]

I think you should try to talk it out with her, now that you've had time to cool off. I wouldn't apologize, but just explain to her where you were coming from, how you just wanted it to me you two, or even a small group of 4 or even 5 would have been fine, but having that many people made you uncomfortable, etc. I hope this helps!

[esca Eterna]

Yeah, I'd agree with Abby. You don't have to apologize, because from what you say it's not really your fault. It seems you handled it well with leaving the conversation.
You should talk to her again soon, so the argument doesn't damage your friendship more. When you do, you should explain how insulted you were when she said those things to you. Also say, like Abby said, how you wanted it to be just the two of you, because she's your friend and... that's what friends do. I don't know, obviously, for sure, but maybe she did this because she wanted to be with the others in the group for reasons such as, again I don't know your friend so I could be completely lying right now, attention, popularity, etc. When you talk with her, don't forget to not blame her for anything, like, don't say 'well you went to the beach without your mother!' or something, because she'll get defensive and y'all'll never solve anything. So calming explain your plight, and maybe she'll listen and explain hers. So after that, you could suggest doing something just the two of you, closer to home if travel/trains are an issue, and maybe after that you can do stuff in a larger group. But be careful also, you might want to discuss the current state of your friendship, because trivial arguments like this can sometimes be larger than you think.
Hope this helps, and good luck! ^^
♥

[Jahnavi]

Yep, I agree with Abby and Esca's ideas.

Tell your friend that you felt uncomfortable with a big group, and you just wanted it to be a small affair. Calmly explain to her why you didn't want ten people to be there. And, like Esca mentioned, don't accuse her of lying, that will just make her more upset. I'm sure she'll understand.

[Natasha]

Thanks again you guys! =]]

[esca Eterna]

Anytime! Hope things work out ^^
♥

[bloom_daphne]

When you're venturing in a big city by yourself, wouldn't you want to go with someone responsible? If she isn't don't bother but keep being friends.

[humbu111]

yeah, how old r u anyways to go by train without any adults? =P

[bloom_daphne]

Well I wouldn't be allowed downtown without adult supervision. Mainly because its a big place, but if Natasha knows her way around and is allowed then its ok.

[Riiana]

Well if that was me I'd probably give her a piece of my mind.

But seeing as you two are quite close, just try and explain to her that you only wanted it to be you and her.
But then again the other option is to get rude back, after all she did it to you so why is it not okay for you to do the same.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying get rude to her but just try and explain that you didnt want anyone else coming along.

[Natasha]

Thank you guys,
My problem is resolved and we are friends once again.
Like I said, my sister taught me how to get downtown so I pretty much know my way around.
My friend is afraid of everything, we are having a sleepover this week and we planned on sleeping in
a tent, and she was afraid that someone would come in the middle of the night and kidnap us.
Wow. And yeah, I'd feel safer having an adult come with us and all, but in life that's not always going to be possible
sometimes we need to learn to get around by ourselves.

[Tecna 01]

In evil or good times
hope is always remained natasha
remember this.

In evil or bad times
hope always remains natasha
remember this.