everyone tells me not to bottle your anger up as it can be dangerous when all is released

ITS TRUE

i have a bad habit of bottling my emotions up and eventually it gets to much and comes out in one massive explosion, one word, one little action can set me off, and its generally someone i have no right to be angry at, but sometimes the anger is directed at the right person for i will always stand up for my friends protect my sisters, and hold on to the feeling that no one will ever get the best of me.

THIS ISN'T ALWAYS TRUE THOUGH

one day someone might think their doing the right thing and say the wrong thing and set me of and although i swore i'd never get angry at them i blow my top yell at them for fifteen solid minutes then refuse to talk to them the rest of the day then i spend the night crying cos i've let my selfishness screw everything up and in the end i will lose the one i love cos i'm too selfish to let people see my feelings until its too late.

The way it used to be



I think of how you used to tease me

The way we used to fight

Always about being a centimeter taller then each other

I remember how we’d spend our classes

Laughing and disrupting the rest of the class

I remember the day that boy in English

Made you cry and no one stood by you

No one but me

I miss our friendships so true

I try to work out

Where it went so horribly wrong

How it came to this



Why did this have to fall apart?

I always believed in you

Thought of you

As though we were family

Can’t things just go back?

To the way they used to be

When it was just you and me

Two girls so similar

But still so different

Fighting to be happy in this

Big world.

Hate you



Don’t you know?

That I hate you

And everything about you

I can’t stand to be

Near you

I don’t want to hear you

Since you screwed my life up

And turn everything around

And upside down

I realized just how much I

Hate you
I really really hate you

Pain



I can’t escape it

I can’t explain it

It just keeps coming back to me

When I walk

When I talk

When I sleep

When I sit

There is always the pain of your memory

Burning through the back of my mind

So I kick a wall or two

Just to try and escape

The memory of you

Even though I can feel

The physical pain of a fracture or two

Your memory still burns through my mind

I wake in the middle of the night

Just crying cos the thought of you

Still causes me so my grief

Oh all this pain

I can’t escape it

Oh I can’t explain it

Please cant you just
End all this pain

Escape

I want to Escape
I need to escape
please help me
to get away
from this pain

I need to escape
I want to escape
cant you see
I want to be free

emptiness and pain
I don’t want the
I want to be happy
no longer lonely

I want to escape
I need to escape
please
cant you help
ME

I need help

I need help to save me from this pain
I need help to escape my nightmare
I need to get away
escape the darkness
find the light

I need help to get through
the day
the night
the rest of my life

please wont you hear my plea
I need help
to be free

Gothic Angel



Surrounded by darkness and pain

An angel tries to pull through

Pushing closer towards the light

But this gothic angel can break through

The darkness grows pulling at her wings

Dragging her back towards the night.



Sometimes she prays

That a stroke of light

Might find its way through

But even when she waits

Day by day

The darkness pulls

All her hope

Away



This gothic angel

Needs to find her way back

Away from the darkness

Away from the pain

Back into the time

Where nothing could

Break her the way

You did by sending the darkness
Her way

Why try,
when eventualy its just a waste of time
Why smile
When you know its just a lie
Why pretend
when nothings realy perfect in the end
why should i try to find my true self
when she isnt the person anyone actualy wants
why dose everyone want the lie that i used to call me

Thank you



Before we met I used to cry all night long

But since we’ve met no tears

Have fallen from these eyes

So this is why I say



Thank you for the smile

Which you brought to my face

Thank you for the joy

Which you brought to my heart

Thank you for the laugher

You cause with all your funny jokes

Thankyou for being there

Through the hard times

Thankyou for just letting me be me



Before I met you I used to cry all night long

But since I’ve met you

No tears have fallen from these eyes

So this is why I say

Thank you for being my friend ^_^



More then friends



You and I

We’ve been together

Through the hard times

And the good times

We’ve held each other as we’ve cried

We’ve laughed till we could not laugh no more

We may fight and say that our friendship is over

But when we think about it we realise that we need each other

That is why we are more then just friends

We are family, sisters

Who are always there with a shoulder to cry on

And a hand to lend





Friendship is



Friendship is being there,

No mater the distance

Friendship is showing you care

No mater what happens

Friendship is standing by each other

No mater how much you fight

Friendship is the special bond between you and me

That will never break for that is a true friendship.



Mended by friendship



This heart has broken

Many a times

This girl cannot trust

She cannot feel

But then she met you

And she found out

How to trust again

How to feel friendship



This heart has been mended

By the friendship that you show

This girl can now trust

She can now feel

She now understands

That what she needed all along

Was a friend .

Feelings
I sit here staring into your eyes
To afraid to show how I truly feel
Scared of how you might react
And when you turn and walk away
I almost cry
For I know you will never be mine
Because of these feelings I hide

copyright Falicia Brown 2007

i've fallen into this pit again
wont you please take my hand
pull me up
out of the darkness
raise my spirits
make me see
that no mater how hurt i am
you will be there
to make me feel whole again

darn this morning when i woke up my radio wasnt working and i was possitive i switched it on last night anywho when i came out into the lounge i asked my dad did we have a blackout and he said it was the same problem we had last time we had lots of rain half the house lost powerand dad rang the reasl estate and they sent out the electrition and now we're only going to have power in half the house untill next week when the rain stops cos they have to pull the parts of the roof off which means no t.v no radio (not even the laptop while cleaning my room ^_^) oh well i guess i can get by

My heart is breaking
i'm sick of waiting
holding on
knowing its wrong
wishing you'd be here
makeing it so clear
that its with you i belong
whom i've waited for
for so long
its you that i long for
the only one i adore
just dont leave it too late
cause i just can't wait
Anymore

Copyright, Falicia Brown may 08

today i have to say goodbye to gexie as shes going away for about a year i know i have to let her go but shes been one of my bestest friends for over five years and i'm realy going to miss her lots cos over the past three years we havent been able to spend as much time together i know i've been away from her before but that was for about three months and even then it made me sad, but i guess it isnt realy goodbye just till we meet again, maybe dee might even take me to visit her

why is goodbye always the hardest thing to say

whats with this sadness flowing through me so deep down inside

when i know you will always still be there

even though i cant see you

but i know everything will be alright

cos its not truely goodbye its only

till we meet again

forever i will wait for that day

and i will not let no tears fall from these eyes till that day

i will be strong and stand tall

for we will meet again

inside my head is a box
a box full of emotions
waiting to burst free
feelings of love and hate
fellings of happiness and saddness
inside my head is a box
a box that contains it all
would you like to have a look

(i know its not as good as any of my other poems)

I've got to escape
I need to get outta this place
i have to break free
spredd my wings
and let my spirit sore
i've got to escape
& get outta this place